1
00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,698
I'm their worst
nightmare come to life.

2
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,266
I'm a girl who can't shut up.

3
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,602
There's not a guy big enough
can handle this mouth.

4
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:39,271
I'm gonna tell everyone
what you did to me.

5
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,306
♪ It was the middle of
the night in my house ♪

6
00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:43,442
♪ it was the middle of
the night in my house ♪

7
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,310
♪ it was the middle of
the night in my house ♪

8
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:47,312
♪ it was the middle of
the night in my house ♪

9
00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:48,247
It was the middle of the night

10
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:49,915
in my house, only I
wasn't dreaming.

11
00:00:50,015 --> 00:00:50,915
I wasn't dreaming.

12
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:52,684
I don't really think
I was dreaming.

13
00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,653
I really think something
happened in that house.

14
00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:56,455
♪ It was the middle of
the night in my house ♪

15
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:57,956
♪ it was the middle of
the night in my house ♪

16
00:00:57,957 --> 00:01:00,225
♪ I am your worst
nightmare come to life,

17
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,728
and I'm not gonna shut up ♪

18
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,631
♪ I'm gonna tell everyone ♪

19
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:09,877
♪ I'm gonna tell everyone ♪

20
00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:20,711
I discovered Kathy Acker, the
American writer, and I went to

21
00:01:20,712 --> 00:01:22,314
this workshop that she did, and

22
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:24,249
she told me, "why do
you want to write?"

23
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,485
And I said, "because nobody has
ever listened to me my whole

24
00:01:27,486 --> 00:01:30,522
life, and I have all this
stuff that I want to say."

25
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:33,458
And she said, "then, why
are you doing spoken word?

26
00:01:33,459 --> 00:01:36,261
You should be in a band,
because nobody goes to

27
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,729
spoken word, but people
go to see bands."

28
00:01:38,730 --> 00:01:43,202
So, I went home, and
I started a band.

29
00:02:03,989 --> 00:02:07,559
♪ That girl thinks she's the
queen of the neighborhood ♪

30
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,230
♪ she got the hottest
dyke in town ♪

31
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:14,399
♪ that girl, she holds
her head up so high ♪

32
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:18,069
♪ I think I wanna be her
best friend, yeah ♪

33
00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:19,704
♪ rebel girl ♪

34
00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:21,607
♪ rebel girl ♪

35
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:25,043
♪ rebel girl, you are
the queen of my world ♪

36
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,711
♪ rebel girl ♪

37
00:02:26,712 --> 00:02:27,946
♪ rebel girl ♪

38
00:02:28,046 --> 00:02:29,413
♪ I think I want
to take you home ♪

39
00:02:29,414 --> 00:02:33,317
♪ I want to try
on your clothes ♪

40
00:02:33,318 --> 00:02:35,586
Bikini kill wasn't
just the best girl band.

41
00:02:35,587 --> 00:02:37,422
They were the best band.

42
00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:40,892
♪ When she talks, I
hear the revolutions ♪

43
00:02:40,893 --> 00:02:43,328
Kathleen's voice was so

44
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:46,365
strong and so
powerful and so punk.

45
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,933
♪ The revolution's coming ♪

46
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:51,803
♪ in her kiss, I taste
the evolution ♪

47
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:53,472
♪ rebel girl ♪

48
00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:54,506
♪ rebel girl ♪

49
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,407
This was not a girl who was

50
00:02:56,408 --> 00:02:58,342
gonna fade into the background.

51
00:02:58,343 --> 00:03:00,144
♪ Rebel girl ♪

52
00:03:00,145 --> 00:03:01,579
♪ rebel girl ♪

53
00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:03,948
Kathleen was like a beam of

54
00:03:03,949 --> 00:03:06,118
light through the entire crowd

55
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:10,055
that just, like, infused
everyone with revolution.

56
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:13,824
It's all about speaking
what's unspoken, screaming

57
00:03:13,825 --> 00:03:16,428
what's unspoken, and that's what

58
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:19,898
Kathleen was never afraid to do.

59
00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,866
♪ That girl thinks
she's the queen... ♪

60
00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:26,571
Kathleen Hanna is an amazing
singer, activist who I think

61
00:03:26,572 --> 00:03:31,442
changed a lot of girls' lives
because she created a new role

62
00:03:31,443 --> 00:03:36,048
model that was, like, sexy and
tough and angry and funny and

63
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,449
all of those things at once.

64
00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:40,018
♪ You are the
queen of my world ♪

65
00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:44,455
Kathleen can sound
arrestingly young, but then it

66
00:03:44,456 --> 00:03:46,824
just makes the words, like, have

67
00:03:46,825 --> 00:03:49,161
more of an impact, especially

68
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:53,165
when she's singing about
topics like rape.

69
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:56,467
The big question is in the
last few years, like, why she

70
00:03:56,468 --> 00:03:57,769
hasn't been doing more.

71
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,103
♪ Rebel girl ♪

72
00:03:59,104 --> 00:04:00,405
What happened?

73
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,007
Why has she forsaken
us, you know?

74
00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:05,015
Like, what did we
do that was so bad?

75
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:11,716
No. Unh-unh.

76
00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:13,484
I don't, actually.

77
00:04:13,485 --> 00:04:17,422
Well, it's so
all-encompassing, the question.

78
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:22,726
There's so much to ask.

79
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,232
<i>That's Kathleen Hanna.</i>

80
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:29,434
<i>She used to be with a punk band</i>

81
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,436
<i>called bikini kill and followed</i>

82
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,772
<i>that with a popular
band, Le Tigre.</i>

83
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,573
<i>Kathleen also cofounded the</i>

84
00:04:35,574 --> 00:04:38,109
<i>feminist movement
called riot grrrl.</i>

85
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:41,213
<i>She's been described as
an unstoppable force.</i>

86
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,215
<i>As part of our series titled</i>

87
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:45,516
<i>"musicians and artists who make</i>

88
00:04:45,517 --> 00:04:47,518
<i>a difference," Kathleen talks</i>

89
00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:49,621
<i>about her beginnings and why,</i>

90
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:56,394
<i>in 2005, she stopped performing.</i>

91
00:04:58,997 --> 00:05:00,665
These are my origin stories.

92
00:05:00,666 --> 00:05:03,802
I have a few I can flip through
because things never really

93
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:07,672
begin at the beginning.

94
00:05:07,673 --> 00:05:09,941
I was born in Portland, Oregon.

95
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:11,275
My mom was a nurse.

96
00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:13,244
My dad was a pipe fitter.

97
00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:15,746
My sister's four
years older than me.

98
00:05:15,747 --> 00:05:18,984
I already knew I was gonna
be some kind of artist.

99
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,450
I just didn't know what kind.

100
00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:55,587
My mom and I had a really
specific relationship.

101
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:59,857
She's totally sadistic and
funny, and I say that with,

102
00:05:59,858 --> 00:06:04,296
like, love and generosity
towards her in my heart.

103
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:05,830
One of my first big memories was

104
00:06:05,831 --> 00:06:08,133
my mom heard about this
thing, the trust game.

105
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,869
It's like a trust-building
exercise, and she's like, "I'm

106
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,304
gonna get on my knees, and I'm

107
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,306
gonna fall backwards,
and you catch me.

108
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,773
And then you stand up, and you

109
00:06:15,774 --> 00:06:17,641
fall backwards, and
I'll catch you."

110
00:06:17,642 --> 00:06:21,546
So, she falls backwards,
and, like, I catch her.

111
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:23,948
And then, I fall back, and my

112
00:06:23,949 --> 00:06:28,253
mom steps out of the
way and lets me fall.

113
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:29,921
And I look up from the carpet,

114
00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:33,191
and my mom's standing over me,
laughing at me, and she says,

115
00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:34,792
"let that be a lesson to you.

116
00:06:34,793 --> 00:06:38,330
Don't trust anyone, not
even your own mother."

117
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:39,597
♪ Uh-oh ♪

118
00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:41,366
I moved a lot as a kid.

119
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,768
We moved every three years, and

120
00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:48,039
when I was 14, we moved all the
way across the country, from

121
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,374
Maryland to the
pacific northwest.

122
00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:56,580
I went to college at
evergreen state college in

123
00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:57,883
Olympia, Washington.

124
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:02,720
And I studied photography.

125
00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:04,955
That's when I first
met Kathleen Hanna.

126
00:07:04,956 --> 00:07:06,357
She literally made an entrance,

127
00:07:06,358 --> 00:07:08,660
'cause I remember she
was late for a class.

128
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:09,828
I guess my first impressions

129
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:12,797
were, she reminded me of a
young Elizabeth Taylor.

130
00:07:12,798 --> 00:07:16,268
Tammy rae was just the
punkest thing I'd ever seen and

131
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,102
had all these ideas and, like,

132
00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:20,004
taught me about sonic youth and

133
00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:22,273
pixies, stuff I
didn't know about.

134
00:07:22,274 --> 00:07:25,243
We were all trying to make
feminist work that was kind of

135
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:27,645
inspired by Jenny Holzer
and Barbara kruger.

136
00:07:27,646 --> 00:07:31,650
We were taking these photo
classes, and when we would bring

137
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:34,419
in our work, we were treated
like we were crazy.

138
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,287
I made work about sexism.

139
00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:39,691
I took pictures from books
I found in the library.

140
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:43,294
So, I did this thing that
juxtaposed the images of the

141
00:07:43,295 --> 00:07:45,297
women and then this picture of

142
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,299
the little girl in this, like,

143
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,366
portrait, and it said, "pretend

144
00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:51,636
you like it" on her, and then it

145
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,806
said, "believe you like
it" on the housewives.

146
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:59,376
Because my work was censored
from the college, we started an

147
00:07:59,377 --> 00:08:03,415
art gallery in, like, an old
garage, and it was called

148
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,215
reko muse, and it was, like, a

149
00:08:05,216 --> 00:08:09,560
feminist art space that me
and my friends started.

150
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:17,996
I think we were coming into
a really heightened level of

151
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,763
awareness, in terms of feminism

152
00:08:19,764 --> 00:08:22,667
and sexist
representation of women.

153
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:27,037
A really very clear memory I
have of Kathleen showing me a

154
00:08:27,038 --> 00:08:29,174
copy of a copy of an article

155
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,177
<i>from time magazine --
"is feminism dead?"</i>

156
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,912
We both got really emotional,

157
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:36,981
like it couldn't be dead
because we were living it.

158
00:08:36,982 --> 00:08:39,683
We were doing it and
thinking it and feeling it.

159
00:08:39,684 --> 00:08:43,821
You know, how could it be dead?

160
00:08:43,822 --> 00:08:45,757
I was working on a project,

161
00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:47,359
fashion show, where I made all

162
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,159
the clothes for a fashion show,

163
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,894
and I silk-screened all these

164
00:08:50,895 --> 00:08:53,197
fabrics and stuff,
using photography.

165
00:08:53,198 --> 00:08:55,800
And I was working late at night

166
00:08:55,801 --> 00:09:00,805
in the lab, and while I was at
work, my best friend, she was

167
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:01,906
assaulted at our house.

168
00:09:01,907 --> 00:09:03,207
She went in her room and fell

169
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,909
asleep, and she woke up, and he
was standing in her doorway.

170
00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:07,345
He grabbed her by the neck, and

171
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,147
he started dragging
her up the stairs.

172
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:10,415
And he was saying shit like,

173
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:12,517
"I'm gonna rape you, then
I'm gonna kill you."

174
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,219
And she was actually
a music major.

175
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,521
It was the first time she was
writing her own symphony.

176
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:18,255
And she told me that when she

177
00:09:18,256 --> 00:09:21,459
was on the stairs, she thought,
"I'm gonna finish my fucking

178
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,128
symphony," and she just flipped

179
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:27,098
out and just, like, punched him
and got loose and got away.

180
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:30,368
And I came home, and she
was, like, all beat up.

181
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:34,879
I was like, "I have to make
sure this never happens again."

182
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,513
I made a dress that said, "as he

183
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,314
drug her upstairs by her neck."

184
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:44,849
I didn't even want to finish,

185
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:47,185
but she was like, "you
have to finish it."

186
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,552
So, I ended up making -- that

187
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:51,755
project was just about me being
able to finish something.

188
00:09:51,756 --> 00:09:53,157
And then I realized in the

189
00:09:53,158 --> 00:09:55,393
middle of it, it wasn't
just about that.

190
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:58,430
It was, I had to take this
thing that had happened to my

191
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,800
friend -- it had affected me
-- and put it into my work.

192
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:02,767
I couldn't keep it out.

193
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:07,270
Like, it was just totally
impossible for me to keep it out.

194
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,441
I mean, I remember the first
time I saw her, it was like,

195
00:10:10,442 --> 00:10:11,875
"who is this person that she

196
00:10:11,876 --> 00:10:14,079
just has, like, this
commanding presence?"

197
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,846
She's just like, "yes, I'm doing

198
00:10:15,847 --> 00:10:17,816
a fashion show in the
library building."

199
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:18,850
You know what I mean?

200
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:19,817
It was like, "we're only 18,"

201
00:10:19,818 --> 00:10:20,884
like, you know what I mean?

202
00:10:20,885 --> 00:10:22,787
What are you doing?

203
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:26,056
Kathleen and I, we
were both going to

204
00:10:26,057 --> 00:10:28,225
evergreen state college.

205
00:10:28,226 --> 00:10:32,029
Our friends had this idea
that was, like, called "the

206
00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:33,831
revolution girl style now."

207
00:10:33,832 --> 00:10:36,100
That was sort of like our idea.

208
00:10:36,101 --> 00:10:38,570
Like, "let's get all these girls

209
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,872
somehow to play instruments."

210
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:43,173
<i>I'd read Jigsaw,
Tobi's fanzine.</i>

211
00:10:43,174 --> 00:10:45,576
And she was one of the only
girls I knew around who was

212
00:10:45,577 --> 00:10:46,911
talking about feminism and

213
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:48,580
punk rock kind of in
the same sentence.

214
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,514
Tobi was like, "Kathi, do you

215
00:10:50,515 --> 00:10:52,584
know how to play
guitar or something?"

216
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:53,817
I was like, "no."

217
00:10:53,818 --> 00:10:55,519
"Do you know how to play bass?"

218
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,086
"No."

219
00:10:56,087 --> 00:10:59,624
She's like, "do you
want to start a band?"

220
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,125
I was like, "okay."

221
00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:02,893
Tobi was like, "I think we

222
00:11:02,894 --> 00:11:06,130
should ask this girl
Kathleen to be the singer."

223
00:11:06,131 --> 00:11:08,199
I was like, "yeah, we should,"

224
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,835
'cause she's perfect
to be a singer.

225
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,003
You couldn't get
a better singer.

226
00:11:13,004 --> 00:11:15,340
You couldn't ask for a
better front person.

227
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,907
And we all got together and

228
00:11:16,908 --> 00:11:18,276
started playing at
Tobi's parents' house.

229
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:21,345
It was just the three of us
for, like, months and months.

230
00:11:21,346 --> 00:11:24,047
We wanted a girl guitar player,
but we just couldn't do it.

231
00:11:24,048 --> 00:11:26,117
We would have people
come and play with us.

232
00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:27,284
But it just didn't work.

233
00:11:27,285 --> 00:11:28,887
And then Tobi was kind of like,

234
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:31,189
"I think we should
ask my friend bill."

235
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,657
And I'm like, "oh, I
guess we can try it."

236
00:11:33,658 --> 00:11:39,029
And then that was it.

237
00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:40,005
We're bikini kill.

238
00:11:47,105 --> 00:11:50,941
We're bikini kill,
and we want revolution.

239
00:11:50,942 --> 00:11:57,279
Girl style now!

240
00:11:57,982 --> 00:12:01,319
Hey, girlfriend, I
got a proposition.

241
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,521
Goes something like this.

242
00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:06,257
♪ Dare ya to do what you want ♪

243
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:08,927
♪ dare ya to be who you will ♪

244
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:11,229
♪ dare ya to cry
right out loud ♪

245
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:14,364
♪ you get so emotional, baby ♪

246
00:12:14,365 --> 00:12:15,566
♪ double dare ya ♪

247
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:16,901
♪ double dare ya ♪

248
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,436
♪ double dare ya ♪

249
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:19,704
What everybody said about us

250
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:21,205
was that we couldn't play our

251
00:12:21,206 --> 00:12:25,582
instruments, and we said, "and?"

252
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:33,951
We were a young band getting a
ton of attention in a scene

253
00:12:33,952 --> 00:12:36,287
where there were a ton of bands,

254
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:38,590
and everybody wanted attention.

255
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,191
And we didn't realize it at the

256
00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:42,594
time because we weren't
really that careerist.

257
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,961
We didn't give a shit.

258
00:12:43,962 --> 00:12:45,028
We weren't making money.

259
00:12:45,029 --> 00:12:47,965
We knew we were never gonna
make money, and it was really

260
00:12:47,966 --> 00:12:49,399
important that we
made our music.

261
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,003
We were on a mission, and we
were gonna do what we did,

262
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:54,705
whether we got attention or not.

263
00:12:54,706 --> 00:12:56,541
We were spreading the message on

264
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:58,109
the road at our shows, handing

265
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,612
out fliers, telling people
what we were doing.

266
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,121
Our fanzines were all about
feminism and political issues.

267
00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:11,154
We just tried to take feminist

268
00:13:11,155 --> 00:13:13,157
stuff that we read in books and

269
00:13:13,158 --> 00:13:15,726
then filter it through
a punk rock lens.

270
00:13:15,727 --> 00:13:16,728
Just wait.

271
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,028
Zoom in on that.

272
00:13:18,029 --> 00:13:19,397
In a hundred years, this

273
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:22,166
footage will be worth quite
a bit of money -- not.

274
00:13:22,167 --> 00:13:25,536
Fanzine by me, by me.

275
00:13:25,537 --> 00:13:26,771
3-d cover.

276
00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:28,273
Gonna be red.

277
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,074
It's gonna be red.

278
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:31,341
Ooh!

279
00:13:31,342 --> 00:13:33,644
Giving me a flier at a show,

280
00:13:33,645 --> 00:13:35,747
handing it to me and smiling at

281
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:40,218
me, that's as much of the way
Kathleen communicates as when

282
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,787
she's on stage, singing
really powerful lyrics.

283
00:13:43,788 --> 00:13:44,656
It was so great, you know?

284
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,325
She just presented all
of that, like, "kapow!

285
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:50,762
Here I am, and I'm gonna talk
like this, and I'm gonna sound

286
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,596
like a valley girl, and what I'm

287
00:13:52,597 --> 00:13:54,298
gonna say is actually totally

288
00:13:54,299 --> 00:13:56,433
brilliant, and you have
to take me seriously."

289
00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:58,369
I got a valley girl accent

290
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,504
from "the valley girl handbook,"

291
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:03,641
and me and my best friend,
Angela cheever, we lived in

292
00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:07,010
Maryland, and we desperately
wanted to be the kind of girls

293
00:14:07,011 --> 00:14:08,278
who had credit cards.

294
00:14:08,279 --> 00:14:09,814
I think we thought it made us

295
00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:12,517
sound like we were, like, rich.

296
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,720
We thought it was
like a posh accent.

297
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:17,788
It goes to show that you can

298
00:14:17,789 --> 00:14:19,791
be just, like, you know, I don't

299
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:23,795
know, some valley girl, and you
still can be smart and have

300
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:31,696
feminist ideas, and you still
should be listened to.

301
00:14:36,674 --> 00:14:38,442
It was an exciting moment for

302
00:14:38,443 --> 00:14:40,411
a lot of young
women, especially.

303
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:43,815
It was speaking to women and
wanting to connect with women.

304
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,516
And that I think is why the

305
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:49,387
intervention of bikini
kill was really necessary.

306
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,856
It was, like, basically
me and Tobi and Kathi.

307
00:14:52,857 --> 00:14:55,058
We're like, "we're gonna take

308
00:14:55,059 --> 00:14:57,362
over the punk rock
scene for feminists."

309
00:14:57,363 --> 00:15:02,600
♪ You hold me down ♪

310
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:06,838
♪ you hold me down
like a magnet ♪

311
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,840
She was, like, by, for, and

312
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,676
about women -- her
thing, their thing.

313
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:12,877
But they had Billy.

314
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,445
He was a boy.

315
00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:19,750
But he was like -- all boys
around her were kind of just --

316
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:22,519
"we kind of need you
to do some shit.

317
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:27,157
So, will you just do the shit,
'cause we are doing the top."

318
00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:29,793
♪ I've got the love
that's strong and not weak ♪

319
00:15:29,794 --> 00:15:32,063
♪ I've got the love that's
strong and not weak ♪

320
00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:34,699
♪ I've got the love that's
strong and not weak ♪

321
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,734
♪ I've got the love that's
strong and not weak ♪

322
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:40,338
Kathleen was very clear
and didn't hold back.

323
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:42,874
This is for all the fuckers.

324
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:45,442
She was just screaming
at the top of her lungs.

325
00:15:45,443 --> 00:15:47,378
There were veins sticking
out of her neck.

326
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:49,147
♪ Don't you need you
to say we're good ♪

327
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,416
♪ don't need you
to say we suck ♪

328
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:54,118
♪ don't need your protection ♪

329
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:56,186
♪ don't need your dick to fuck ♪

330
00:15:56,187 --> 00:15:56,987
♪ whaa ♪

331
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:03,661
It was the first time I'd sen
a woman on stage completely

332
00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:06,663
angry, aggressive, doing stuff

333
00:16:06,664 --> 00:16:11,668
that you kind of see guys
do, and it was amazing.

334
00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:13,204
Somebody had to be bikini kill.

335
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:15,138
Like, it had to happen, or else

336
00:16:15,139 --> 00:16:18,142
we'd have all starved
to death culturally.

337
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:21,458
It had to happen, and
there they were.

338
00:16:33,558 --> 00:16:35,326
Girls to the front -- that is

339
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,561
the thing that never
happened before.

340
00:16:37,562 --> 00:16:38,930
Men could be in the room, but

341
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,665
men could never
dominate the room.

342
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:45,308
It was a flip of the script
that blew people's minds.

343
00:16:50,408 --> 00:16:55,680
All of that incredibly rich stuff
that made punk what it was

344
00:16:55,681 --> 00:17:00,451
had just been tamped down by
the boy mosh pit, you know?

345
00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:03,988
Right when bikini kill
started, right when grunge was,

346
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:05,922
like, going off the hook, right

347
00:17:05,923 --> 00:17:08,960
when nirvana was exploding,
it was a wild scene.

348
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,995
And it was very physical,

349
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:16,438
violent, like, all the
moshing, all that stuff.

350
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,204
These young women, who wanted to

351
00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:24,241
be a part of the scene, like
physically wanted to go to the

352
00:17:24,242 --> 00:17:25,809
shows, wanted to get into this

353
00:17:25,810 --> 00:17:28,191
punk rock scene, we physically
were getting shoved.

354
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:42,960
The problem with our shows
a lot of times, a lot of guys

355
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:44,428
would get really out of control

356
00:17:44,429 --> 00:17:46,396
and start, like,
beating everybody up.

357
00:17:46,397 --> 00:17:49,366
The more girls up front,
the better, and if anybody is

358
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:52,435
fucking with you at this show
because of certain reasons and

359
00:17:52,436 --> 00:17:54,037
you need to come up front, come

360
00:17:54,038 --> 00:17:57,040
up front and sit on the stage
and get away from them and let

361
00:17:57,041 --> 00:18:00,243
us know, because it shouldn't
just be one person in the

362
00:18:00,244 --> 00:18:04,015
crowd's responsibility
to deal with fuckers.

363
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:07,852
Every show we
played was like a war.

364
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:10,820
Guys would try to beat us
up and stuff, you know?

365
00:18:10,821 --> 00:18:12,256
It was really violent, and we

366
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,423
just played these crazy places,

367
00:18:13,424 --> 00:18:15,593
like bowling alleys, and they'd

368
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,796
cram, like, 600 people
in there and stuff.

369
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:19,677
You know, no security.

370
00:18:28,339 --> 00:18:29,606
We wanted girls to stand at

371
00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:30,874
the front of our shows a lot of

372
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:32,309
times just because we needed to

373
00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:35,046
be protected, and I felt like
if there was a row of girls in

374
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,988
front of them, I would be safe.

375
00:18:44,088 --> 00:18:46,022
There physically was not the

376
00:18:46,023 --> 00:18:48,826
space for young women to
be safe at these shows.

377
00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:50,493
And that was a huge part of what

378
00:18:50,494 --> 00:18:54,738
Kathleen did, was to say
that's unacceptable.

379
00:19:00,838 --> 00:19:02,073
"Fuck you.

380
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,641
You're gonna change now.

381
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,442
And if you don't fucking pick up

382
00:19:05,443 --> 00:19:07,010
the gentle hint, we're gonna

383
00:19:07,011 --> 00:19:09,651
fucking very clearly direct
you as to what to do."

384
00:19:14,885 --> 00:19:15,987
It was shocking.

385
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:19,323
They just weren't expecting
those kind of orders to come

386
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,092
from that size of a person, that

387
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:24,679
gender of a person,
in a fucking dress.

388
00:19:41,779 --> 00:19:45,850
When I started writing
the book, the more that I

389
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:50,421
researched, the more respect I
got for kind of what a good

390
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,789
thinker Kathleen is and how good

391
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:57,161
she was at, like, crystallizing
a widely held feeling into a

392
00:19:57,162 --> 00:20:00,737
really irresistible
artistic format.

393
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,908
She would instruct people.

394
00:20:10,909 --> 00:20:14,412
"Here's a little snippet
from our fanzine.

395
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:17,147
Maybe if you could
move to the back."

396
00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:21,384
Like, it was this very -- it
was kind of an empowering and

397
00:20:21,385 --> 00:20:25,690
surreal experience, 'cause you
weren't really used to being

398
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:29,826
talked to from the stage.

399
00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:31,499
Hi.

400
00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:45,809
It was like, "oh, music is

401
00:20:45,810 --> 00:20:48,412
supposed to be escapist,"
and it wasn't.

402
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:49,779
It was grounding it.

403
00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:51,949
It was making music a voice for

404
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:56,687
a lot of people that
hadn't been heard before.

405
00:20:56,688 --> 00:21:00,124
I remember the
song "feels blind."

406
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,492
"All the doves that pass through

407
00:21:02,493 --> 00:21:05,462
my eyes have a stickiness
to their wings.

408
00:21:05,463 --> 00:21:06,596
How does it feel?

409
00:21:06,597 --> 00:21:07,198
Feels blind.

410
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:08,431
What have you taught me?

411
00:21:08,432 --> 00:21:10,468
This world has
taught me nothing."

412
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:12,001
I mean, like, I'm still, like,

413
00:21:12,002 --> 00:21:14,471
getting shivers when I
think about those words.

414
00:21:14,472 --> 00:21:19,477
♪ All the doves
that fly past my eyes

415
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:23,681
have a stickiness
to their wings ♪

416
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:28,219
♪ in the doorway of
my demise I stand,

417
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:32,489
encased in the whisper
you taught me ♪

418
00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:33,490
♪ how does it feel? ♪

419
00:21:33,491 --> 00:21:36,460
♪ It feels blind ♪

420
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:37,528
♪ how does it feel? ♪

421
00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:40,631
♪ Well, it feels fucking blind ♪

422
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:45,835
The way that Kathleen delivered
that line was so angry.

423
00:21:45,836 --> 00:21:48,239
It was so outside the realm of

424
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,776
how a young woman
is supposed to act.

425
00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:53,477
It was really raw.

426
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:57,280
♪ I eat your fucking
hate up like love ♪

427
00:21:57,281 --> 00:22:00,049
Stories of abuse, emotional

428
00:22:00,050 --> 00:22:04,255
violence, sexism that were
just bubbling around.

429
00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:07,258
They brought that
out in the open.

430
00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:09,226
She wanted to talk
about this stuff.

431
00:22:09,227 --> 00:22:10,961
You know, you're
objectifying women.

432
00:22:11,061 --> 00:22:12,062
What does that mean?

433
00:22:12,063 --> 00:22:13,530
What does that do to my body?

434
00:22:13,531 --> 00:22:16,166
You're celebrating a
certain kind of woman.

435
00:22:16,167 --> 00:22:20,504
What does that do if I
don't fit into that mold?

436
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:22,306
You know, breaking down the

437
00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:24,508
rules of what a girl has to be.

438
00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:26,143
Or not, you know?

439
00:22:26,144 --> 00:22:28,746
I mean, even she has it in the

440
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:31,315
songs, you know, the dirty nails

441
00:22:31,316 --> 00:22:35,585
and not being the
perfect, big-titted girl.

442
00:22:35,586 --> 00:22:37,287
I mean, I remember thinking

443
00:22:37,288 --> 00:22:39,589
that each person in the band was

444
00:22:39,590 --> 00:22:42,726
incredibly powerful and
interesting to watch.

445
00:22:42,727 --> 00:22:46,529
And we were doing some
dates with nirvana.

446
00:22:46,530 --> 00:22:49,999
I think Tobi was still
involved with Kurt.

447
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,803
Kurt has a history
with bikini kill.

448
00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:56,539
He's very connected to Kathleen
and what she was doing.

449
00:22:56,540 --> 00:22:59,977
Any good biography of Kurt
cobain now acknowledges

450
00:22:59,978 --> 00:23:01,778
that he didn't come out of

451
00:23:01,779 --> 00:23:04,614
hesher rock in the
pacific northwest.

452
00:23:04,615 --> 00:23:08,285
He came out of feminist
art-punk, you know?

453
00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:12,189
And he said it himself
at that time.

454
00:23:12,190 --> 00:23:14,357
Kurt was a very
charismatic person.

455
00:23:14,358 --> 00:23:16,259
I kind of started hanging out

456
00:23:16,260 --> 00:23:19,063
with him because I had a
boyfriend who became a

457
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:21,999
crackhead, and then he
started, like, stalking me.

458
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,366
And I was known as a feminist,

459
00:23:23,367 --> 00:23:24,768
and I felt like I couldn't ask

460
00:23:24,769 --> 00:23:27,371
for help from people because
I thought that they'd think,

461
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:28,806
"she's making too big of a deal

462
00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:30,574
out of it because
she's a feminist."

463
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:35,246
And the only person who
believed me was my friend Kurt.

464
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,649
I was his friend for
life at that moment.

465
00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:40,284
He stuck up for me.

466
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:44,121
He was, like, the only
person that stuck up for me.

467
00:23:44,122 --> 00:23:49,192
I wrote, "Kurt smells like teen
spirit" on the wall of his

468
00:23:49,193 --> 00:23:51,996
apartment after we spray-painted

469
00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:55,766
it on the side of a
fake abortion clinic.

470
00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:58,168
Kurt spray-painted,
"God is gay."

471
00:23:58,169 --> 00:24:04,208
We were so wasted, so wasted,
super fucking wasted.

472
00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:06,410
And the next day, I swore off

473
00:24:06,411 --> 00:24:11,569
alcohol, and I didn't
drink for six years.

474
00:24:30,669 --> 00:24:33,170
Olympia's a really great
scene in terms of community.

475
00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:36,906
But in terms of politics, it
was kind of difficult for us.

476
00:24:36,907 --> 00:24:39,442
We thought it'd be cool if we
moved to D.C., where there

477
00:24:39,443 --> 00:24:41,945
already was a precedent for
bands like us -- not really

478
00:24:41,946 --> 00:24:44,414
feminist bands, but at least
bands that were interested in

479
00:24:44,415 --> 00:24:45,982
what was going on in the world.

480
00:24:45,983 --> 00:24:47,884
So, we moved with our friends

481
00:24:47,885 --> 00:24:50,988
from the band Bratmobile,
and that's where the whole

482
00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:52,855
riot grrrl thing really started.

483
00:24:52,856 --> 00:24:54,658
There were all these things

484
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,693
in the late '80s and early '90s,

485
00:24:56,694 --> 00:24:58,429
like Anita hill/clarence Thomas,

486
00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:00,764
the William Kennedy
Smith rape trial.

487
00:25:00,765 --> 00:25:02,432
There were things that happened

488
00:25:02,433 --> 00:25:04,668
all in a really quick succession

489
00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:06,336
that our generations of people,

490
00:25:06,337 --> 00:25:08,238
who were, like, 18 and 19 in the

491
00:25:08,239 --> 00:25:11,741
late '80s, experienced it, and
we knew that they were wrong.

492
00:25:11,742 --> 00:25:13,410
There was utter pandemonium

493
00:25:13,411 --> 00:25:15,144
outside the university building,

494
00:25:15,145 --> 00:25:17,381
as ambulances carted
away the injured.

495
00:25:17,382 --> 00:25:22,318
Police have now confirmed 14
students dead, all women.

496
00:25:22,319 --> 00:25:25,722
Another dozen people were hurt,
caught in a rampage that

497
00:25:25,723 --> 00:25:27,290
witnesses called a human hunt,

498
00:25:27,291 --> 00:25:30,160
with the gunman yelling,
"I want women."

499
00:25:30,161 --> 00:25:32,695
Our friend Jen Smith said,
"you know what we need?

500
00:25:32,696 --> 00:25:33,697
We need a girl riot."

501
00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:36,799
Tobi had talked about
"angry girl" with many R’s.

502
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,335
The combination of what

503
00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:41,471
Jen Smith and Tobi said
became "riot grrrl."

504
00:25:41,472 --> 00:25:45,174
<i>So, we made a 'zine
called riot grrrl.</i>

505
00:25:45,175 --> 00:25:46,743
<i>The original riot grrrl</i>

506
00:25:46,744 --> 00:25:49,512
zine, it was mostly Kathleen
Hanna, Allison wolfe,

507
00:25:49,513 --> 00:25:53,217
and Molly Newman from
Bratmobile, Jen Smith and

508
00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:55,919
Tobi Vail, the drummer
of bikini kill.

509
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,488
Allison and I went to a punk

510
00:25:57,489 --> 00:25:59,288
show with a clipboard, and we

511
00:25:59,289 --> 00:26:00,990
just walked up to girls, and we

512
00:26:00,991 --> 00:26:02,526
were like, "we want to have an

513
00:26:02,527 --> 00:26:05,895
all-girl meeting where we just
talk maybe about starting a

514
00:26:05,896 --> 00:26:08,966
magazine or doing projects,
playing punk music and starting

515
00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:10,768
a scene and kind
of taking over."

516
00:26:10,769 --> 00:26:12,335
We got to do the first

517
00:26:12,336 --> 00:26:16,444
riot grrrl meeting at
positive force house.

518
00:26:19,544 --> 00:26:21,010
Our first meeting was, like, it

519
00:26:21,011 --> 00:26:22,445
was pretty intense, and, as it

520
00:26:22,446 --> 00:26:23,913
turned out, they just wanted to

521
00:26:23,914 --> 00:26:26,016
hang out and talk without
men being there.

522
00:26:26,017 --> 00:26:27,985
They wanted to talk
about sexual abuse.

523
00:26:27,986 --> 00:26:30,820
They wanted to talk about coming
out and get information and

524
00:26:30,821 --> 00:26:32,556
share information
with each other.

525
00:26:32,557 --> 00:26:35,826
I actually wrote a riot grrrl
manifesto in the bikini kill

526
00:26:35,827 --> 00:26:37,126
fanzine called "grrrl power."

527
00:26:37,127 --> 00:26:40,864
And I wrote what I dreamed
riot grrrl could be and

528
00:26:40,865 --> 00:26:43,200
encouraged other girls and women

529
00:26:43,201 --> 00:26:44,802
to write their manifestos of

530
00:26:44,803 --> 00:26:46,470
what they wanted
riot grrrl to be.

531
00:26:46,471 --> 00:26:49,972
The idea was that any woman
anywhere could take that name

532
00:26:49,973 --> 00:26:52,442
and use it and create
anything she wanted.

533
00:26:52,443 --> 00:26:55,278
We didn't brand it or copyright
it or anything like that.

534
00:26:55,279 --> 00:26:56,579
It belonged to everybody.

535
00:26:56,580 --> 00:26:58,082
All of us felt like, "look.

536
00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,182
Here are some ideas.

537
00:26:59,183 --> 00:27:00,483
Take it and run with it."

538
00:27:00,484 --> 00:27:03,554
Other girls started riot
grrrls all around the country.

539
00:27:03,555 --> 00:27:06,957
♪ All-American rejects ♪

540
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:09,860
Feminism had been kind of
scared of pop-culture music.

541
00:27:09,861 --> 00:27:11,194
It was really good at protesting

542
00:27:11,195 --> 00:27:12,595
it and not good at making it.

543
00:27:12,596 --> 00:27:14,131
And so riot grrrl was making it.

544
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:15,833
It was making 'zines, and it was

545
00:27:15,834 --> 00:27:18,035
making rock bands, and it
was speaking to people.

546
00:27:18,036 --> 00:27:23,039
And Kathleen was a major
motivator of that.

547
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,041
First wave of feminism began in

548
00:27:25,042 --> 00:27:27,577
1848, the seneca
falls conference.

549
00:27:27,578 --> 00:27:29,613
It was the first time that women

550
00:27:29,614 --> 00:27:31,981
organized on behalf
of themselves.

551
00:27:31,982 --> 00:27:33,616
They all happened to
be abolitionists.

552
00:27:33,617 --> 00:27:35,085
They were opposing slavery.

553
00:27:35,086 --> 00:27:38,188
It was a movement for human
rights, but they weren't equal

554
00:27:38,189 --> 00:27:39,556
members of this movement.

555
00:27:39,557 --> 00:27:41,924
So, they turned their raised
consciousness on themselves and

556
00:27:41,925 --> 00:27:44,260
their organizing skills on
themselves and said, "we need

557
00:27:44,261 --> 00:27:46,363
our own independent movement
for our own rights."

558
00:27:46,364 --> 00:27:48,865
So, that first wave of the
women's movement focused itself

559
00:27:48,866 --> 00:27:53,303
on citizenship, and that's
most symbolized by the vote.

560
00:27:53,304 --> 00:27:56,105
There was a swell of activism
again, coming out of the

561
00:27:56,106 --> 00:27:57,874
civil rights' movement and the

562
00:27:57,875 --> 00:28:00,076
peace movement and the
free-speech movement.

563
00:28:00,077 --> 00:28:01,644
So, the women who were part of

564
00:28:01,645 --> 00:28:04,081
these movements eventually
turned their raised

565
00:28:04,082 --> 00:28:05,848
consciousness on themselves and

566
00:28:05,849 --> 00:28:08,652
said, "we need to have our own
independent movement for our

567
00:28:08,653 --> 00:28:11,622
rights, for equality, to be
treated as full human beings."

568
00:28:11,623 --> 00:28:14,091
The biggest goal of the
second wave was equality.

569
00:28:14,092 --> 00:28:18,801
That was the surge of activism
that was the second wave.

570
00:28:22,901 --> 00:28:26,636
Rebecca Walker's article
"becoming a third wave" -- so,

571
00:28:26,637 --> 00:28:29,972
she used that term, and that's
because she, her mother was

572
00:28:29,973 --> 00:28:33,410
Alice Walker, and she was a
daughter of the second wave, and

573
00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:35,112
she was trying to find a way to

574
00:28:35,113 --> 00:28:38,114
say, "we're different, but
we're part of this history."

575
00:28:38,115 --> 00:28:40,651
Third wave was founded in

576
00:28:40,652 --> 00:28:43,420
response to a feeling on college

577
00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:48,057
campuses in 1992 that feminism
was in some ways dead,

578
00:28:48,058 --> 00:28:53,130
irrelevant, that women of my
generation were apathetic, not

579
00:28:53,131 --> 00:28:59,670
desirous of working on behalf
of women's empowerment.

580
00:28:59,671 --> 00:29:01,337
You can't overstate her

581
00:29:01,338 --> 00:29:03,440
importance to
third-wave feminism.

582
00:29:03,441 --> 00:29:05,107
She was incredibly inspiring.

583
00:29:05,108 --> 00:29:06,910
She was kind of the first person

584
00:29:06,911 --> 00:29:10,213
to come forth and say, "this
is what feminism is gonna look

585
00:29:10,214 --> 00:29:11,981
like, and we don't take your

586
00:29:11,982 --> 00:29:13,916
bullshit, patriarchs
and rapists."

587
00:29:13,917 --> 00:29:15,419
And it was incredibly exciting.

588
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:17,019
♪ Oh, baby, I want you ♪

589
00:29:17,020 --> 00:29:18,488
♪ you're so fucking big ♪

590
00:29:18,489 --> 00:29:20,324
♪ you're so big and hard ♪

591
00:29:20,325 --> 00:29:22,291
♪ you've got such a big cock ♪

592
00:29:22,292 --> 00:29:24,060
♪ push it in deeper now ♪

593
00:29:24,061 --> 00:29:25,695
♪ oh, deeper, harder ♪

594
00:29:25,696 --> 00:29:27,597
♪ I'm almost coming ♪

595
00:29:27,598 --> 00:29:29,633
I mean, more than any other

596
00:29:29,634 --> 00:29:32,702
person I've ever met,
Kathleen was a leader.

597
00:29:32,703 --> 00:29:33,419
♪ Sugar ♪

598
00:29:36,574 --> 00:29:39,375
♪ I can almost reach mine now ♪

599
00:29:39,376 --> 00:29:40,410
♪ now, now ♪

600
00:29:40,411 --> 00:29:43,012
♪ sugar ♪

601
00:29:43,013 --> 00:29:46,650
I mean, a lot of what we saw
riot grrrls doing was, like,

602
00:29:46,651 --> 00:29:50,254
girls going back to, like,
their girlhood and reclaiming

603
00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:52,989
girlhood that has been taken
away from them, that has been

604
00:29:52,990 --> 00:29:55,726
directed down some bullshit
path, where they're like, "I'm

605
00:29:55,727 --> 00:29:58,161
actually gonna be a little
girl that has power now.

606
00:29:58,162 --> 00:29:59,997
I'm gonna relive that part so

607
00:29:59,998 --> 00:30:01,765
that I can then direct my whole

608
00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:05,102
growing-up experience from
there, from point 'a.'"

609
00:30:05,103 --> 00:30:07,537
the third wave is like a hot

610
00:30:07,538 --> 00:30:09,772
but angry bisexual girl who is

611
00:30:09,773 --> 00:30:13,143
wearing a minidress
with combat boots.

612
00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:15,645
There's like a lot of attempting

613
00:30:15,646 --> 00:30:20,049
to reconcile a lot of extremes
that are in all of us.

614
00:30:20,050 --> 00:30:22,986
Yes, she totally
used her sexuality.

615
00:30:23,086 --> 00:30:23,787
I love that.

616
00:30:23,788 --> 00:30:25,021
Use it -- whatever we got.

617
00:30:25,022 --> 00:30:26,355
You gonna give me some shit?

618
00:30:26,356 --> 00:30:27,391
You gonna define me?

619
00:30:27,392 --> 00:30:28,725
You gonna tell me what I am?

620
00:30:28,726 --> 00:30:33,029
Okay, great, I'm that.

621
00:30:33,030 --> 00:30:35,298
Being a stripper is what
let me be in bikini kill.

622
00:30:35,299 --> 00:30:37,768
Do I wish that there was a job
that paid me that amount of

623
00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:40,304
money and that gave me that
flexibility, where I didn't have

624
00:30:40,305 --> 00:30:41,337
to take my clothes off?

625
00:30:41,338 --> 00:30:42,306
Sure, of course I do.

626
00:30:42,307 --> 00:30:45,374
But it didn't exist, and
I wanted to make music.

627
00:30:45,375 --> 00:30:48,412
I worked at McDonald's,
and I was a vegetarian.

628
00:30:48,413 --> 00:30:51,147
And I just felt like
it was the same thing.

629
00:30:51,148 --> 00:30:53,816
I was a feminist, and I
worked at the strip bar.

630
00:30:53,817 --> 00:30:57,557
♪ Sugar ♪

631
00:31:00,657 --> 00:31:04,460
And we're bikini kill.

632
00:31:04,461 --> 00:31:05,629
Everybody knows what to do.

633
00:31:05,630 --> 00:31:07,096
I don't need to tell you.

634
00:31:07,097 --> 00:31:09,098
We played at the
capitol with fugazi.

635
00:31:09,099 --> 00:31:12,068
It was around the time of the
abortion march, and so, it was

636
00:31:12,069 --> 00:31:14,009
like abortion without apology.

637
00:31:19,109 --> 00:31:21,210
A lot of the D.C. music has that

638
00:31:21,211 --> 00:31:23,479
monumental sound that maybe does

639
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,749
come from living in the capital.

640
00:31:25,750 --> 00:31:27,517
It's like this big feeling that

641
00:31:27,518 --> 00:31:29,286
it's really important that what

642
00:31:29,287 --> 00:31:31,054
we're doing is super-important.

643
00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:33,289
We're so close to
the seat of power.

644
00:31:33,290 --> 00:31:36,660
And then these bands are making
this huge-sounding music but

645
00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:39,563
about stuff that's totally
different than what the

646
00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:40,529
politicians are doing.

647
00:31:40,530 --> 00:31:42,732
♪ You think that I don't know ♪

648
00:31:42,733 --> 00:31:45,067
♪ I'm here to tell you I do ♪

649
00:31:45,068 --> 00:31:48,104
♪ you think us
sluts don't know ♪

650
00:31:48,105 --> 00:31:51,708
♪ we know the truth
about you now ♪

651
00:31:51,709 --> 00:31:54,810
♪ Jigsaw, Jigsaw youth ♪

652
00:31:54,811 --> 00:31:59,383
♪ I know there's not one way,
one light, one lame truth ♪

653
00:31:59,384 --> 00:32:01,585
♪ won't fit your definitions ♪

654
00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:04,153
♪ won't meet your lame demands ♪

655
00:32:04,154 --> 00:32:06,589
♪ not into win-lose reality ♪

656
00:32:06,590 --> 00:32:12,064
♪ won't fit into your plans ♪

657
00:32:18,403 --> 00:32:20,269
<i>A usa today reporter came and</i>

658
00:32:20,270 --> 00:32:23,373
then wrote this really
condescending thing about what

659
00:32:23,374 --> 00:32:25,174
we were doing and focused on

660
00:32:25,175 --> 00:32:26,876
what our clothes looked like and

661
00:32:26,877 --> 00:32:28,545
what our bodies looked like.

662
00:32:28,546 --> 00:32:32,114
We must all be sexual-abuse
survivors because we're singing

663
00:32:32,115 --> 00:32:35,251
about rape, and, therefore,
nobody has any imagination or

664
00:32:35,252 --> 00:32:37,187
knows anybody who's had things

665
00:32:37,188 --> 00:32:38,854
who's had things happen to them.

666
00:32:38,855 --> 00:32:41,725
So, we must all have had
these tragic histories.

667
00:32:41,726 --> 00:32:46,195
It was really frustrating to
a lot of us, especially that

668
00:32:46,196 --> 00:32:48,230
another woman would write

669
00:32:48,231 --> 00:32:51,535
something that we
thought was so stupid.

670
00:32:51,536 --> 00:32:54,470
So, we just decided to stop
thinking about it and talking

671
00:32:54,471 --> 00:32:55,939
about it and just not answering

672
00:32:55,940 --> 00:32:58,174
the phone when
journalists called.

673
00:32:58,175 --> 00:33:01,510
And that was what everybody
called a press blackout.

674
00:33:01,511 --> 00:33:02,645
They're like, "no, actually,

675
00:33:02,646 --> 00:33:04,614
you're not gonna fucking co-op
this fucking revolution.

676
00:33:04,615 --> 00:33:05,214
Fuck you.

677
00:33:05,215 --> 00:33:07,717
It's actually not
gonna be televised.

678
00:33:07,718 --> 00:33:08,617
That was genius.

679
00:33:08,618 --> 00:33:11,387
It was very savvy, and it was

680
00:33:11,388 --> 00:33:13,957
something that was thinking much

681
00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:16,593
bigger than a lot of us did.

682
00:33:16,594 --> 00:33:20,229
People involved with riot
grrrl were reluctant to do

683
00:33:20,230 --> 00:33:21,765
interviews with mainstream

684
00:33:21,766 --> 00:33:23,767
<i>press or rolling stone or people</i>

685
00:33:23,768 --> 00:33:27,203
who got interested in and
got wind of the movement.

686
00:33:27,204 --> 00:33:28,838
It's hard to see yourself

687
00:33:28,839 --> 00:33:30,841
written about or talked about in

688
00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:33,375
a third-person or
some removed context.

689
00:33:33,376 --> 00:33:35,778
It's always just gonna
seem wrong somehow.

690
00:33:35,779 --> 00:33:36,880
The facts are wrong.

691
00:33:36,881 --> 00:33:37,881
Something's wrong.

692
00:33:37,882 --> 00:33:38,582
It's always wrong.

693
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:41,418
It was also for her own
self-preservation and

694
00:33:41,419 --> 00:33:43,252
protection, 'cause people were

695
00:33:43,253 --> 00:33:44,954
just tearing her apart publicly

696
00:33:44,955 --> 00:33:46,989
and revealing a lot of personal

697
00:33:46,990 --> 00:33:50,259
things about her that she
hadn't chosen to reveal.

698
00:33:50,260 --> 00:33:51,795
How things become just so

699
00:33:51,796 --> 00:33:58,300
distorted and taken
out of their hands.

700
00:33:58,301 --> 00:33:59,502
There was an article in

701
00:33:59,503 --> 00:34:01,872
<i>the Washington Post, and it</i>

702
00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:04,341
said that my father raped me.

703
00:34:04,342 --> 00:34:06,209
And I never spoke to a reporter.

704
00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:07,710
I've never asserted that.

705
00:34:07,711 --> 00:34:09,312
And I will say right now on

706
00:34:09,313 --> 00:34:11,448
camera my father
did not rape me.

707
00:34:11,449 --> 00:34:13,750
My father was sexually
inappropriate.

708
00:34:13,751 --> 00:34:15,919
He wasn't a great father.

709
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:20,022
He was physically and
verbally abusive at times.

710
00:34:20,023 --> 00:34:25,494
But he did not
physically rape me.

711
00:34:25,829 --> 00:34:29,299
I make a distinction between
sexual inappropriateness and

712
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:35,971
abuse in my mind because I know

713
00:34:35,972 --> 00:34:38,441
other people's stories that are

714
00:34:38,442 --> 00:34:42,779
super-horrific, and, like,
way more horrific than mine.

715
00:34:42,780 --> 00:34:45,281
And that just isn't my story.

716
00:34:45,282 --> 00:34:47,283
And I was really upset
when it said that.

717
00:34:47,284 --> 00:34:49,819
And it taught me a big lesson
about how a lot of reporters

718
00:34:49,820 --> 00:34:51,053
don't fact-check anything.

719
00:34:51,054 --> 00:34:52,756
Instead of being, like, sitting

720
00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:54,457
around, being upset about it, I

721
00:34:54,458 --> 00:34:57,694
thought it was really important
that I kept making music and

722
00:34:57,695 --> 00:34:59,261
that I went on tour and that

723
00:34:59,262 --> 00:35:05,432
other girls got to hear
what we were making.

724
00:35:13,978 --> 00:35:17,379
♪ I'm a little
girl at the picnic

725
00:35:17,380 --> 00:35:20,817
who won't stop pulling
her dress up ♪

726
00:35:20,818 --> 00:35:24,321
♪ it doesn't matter
who's in control now ♪

727
00:35:24,322 --> 00:35:28,664
♪ it doesn't matter 'cause
this is new radio ♪

728
00:35:33,764 --> 00:35:41,004
♪ what the fuck is written
all over your pretty face? ♪

729
00:35:41,005 --> 00:35:44,573
♪ The gaps in teeth,
the dirty nails ♪

730
00:35:44,574 --> 00:35:47,810
♪ baby boy, you can't kill
what's fucking real ♪

731
00:35:47,811 --> 00:35:49,678
♪ turn that song down ♪

732
00:35:49,679 --> 00:35:51,348
♪ turn the static up ♪

733
00:35:51,349 --> 00:35:52,109
♪ come here, baby ♪

734
00:35:52,115 --> 00:35:54,850
♪ let me kiss you
like a boy does ♪

735
00:35:54,851 --> 00:35:56,752
♪ oh-whoa ♪

736
00:35:56,753 --> 00:35:58,520
♪ oh-whoa ♪

737
00:35:58,521 --> 00:36:00,457
♪ oh-whoa ♪

738
00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:01,406
♪ whoa-oh ♪

739
00:36:04,327 --> 00:36:08,098
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

740
00:36:08,099 --> 00:36:09,933
♪ yeah, yeah ♪

741
00:36:09,934 --> 00:36:11,567
♪ yeah, yeah ♪

742
00:36:11,568 --> 00:36:12,669
♪ yeah, yeah ♪

743
00:36:12,670 --> 00:36:17,741
♪ yeah, yeah ♪

744
00:36:17,742 --> 00:36:20,977
♪ let's wipe our cum
on my parents' bed ♪

745
00:36:20,978 --> 00:36:22,544
I had never seen bikini kill

746
00:36:22,545 --> 00:36:24,147
play until "summersault" tour.

747
00:36:24,148 --> 00:36:27,549
Mike from my band, he had a
bikini kill 7-inch, and it was

748
00:36:27,550 --> 00:36:29,151
one of those things like, "oh,

749
00:36:29,152 --> 00:36:31,620
shoot, you got to
hear this record."

750
00:36:31,621 --> 00:36:33,355
And then, his wife, tamra,

751
00:36:33,356 --> 00:36:35,692
who's a filmmaker,
interviewed Kathleen.

752
00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:37,426
We were watching this thing that

753
00:36:37,427 --> 00:36:40,430
she made, and it was fucking
Kathleen being interviewed

754
00:36:40,431 --> 00:36:42,064
wearing a ski mask in, like, a

755
00:36:42,065 --> 00:36:43,700
stairwell somewhere, and I was

756
00:36:43,701 --> 00:36:45,669
like, "what the
fuck is going on?

757
00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:47,370
This is some serious shit."

758
00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:49,004
And so I was very interested.

759
00:36:49,005 --> 00:36:51,941
I did a video called "no
alternative girls," and

760
00:36:51,942 --> 00:36:53,576
Kathleen Hanna was in it, and

761
00:36:53,577 --> 00:36:56,111
she was doing a media
blackout at the time.

762
00:36:56,112 --> 00:36:57,446
So, she said she would appear in

763
00:36:57,447 --> 00:36:59,149
the video, but she wouldn't
let her face be in it.

764
00:36:59,150 --> 00:37:00,582
So, she wore this ski mask.

765
00:37:00,583 --> 00:37:03,620
And then, I worked with her
again with sonic youth, when we

766
00:37:03,621 --> 00:37:08,424
did the video for "bull
in the Heather."

767
00:37:08,425 --> 00:37:10,125
And so, when bikini kill was on

768
00:37:10,126 --> 00:37:11,727
tour, Kathleen was there, and

769
00:37:11,728 --> 00:37:14,464
Adam was going through
this terrible breakup.

770
00:37:14,465 --> 00:37:16,031
I was totally trying to get them

771
00:37:16,032 --> 00:37:17,734
together, 'cause I thought they

772
00:37:17,735 --> 00:37:19,435
would be friends, at least, but

773
00:37:19,436 --> 00:37:22,205
also, they had so much in
common, it seemed to me.

774
00:37:22,206 --> 00:37:23,906
And I thought Kathleen would be

775
00:37:23,907 --> 00:37:26,343
somebody really good
for Adam to talk to.

776
00:37:26,443 --> 00:37:29,611
So... >> Yeah, that
was interesting.

777
00:37:29,612 --> 00:37:37,512
I wanted to be encouraging,
but I was also afraid.

778
00:37:38,188 --> 00:37:41,091
Bikini kill was super punk
rock, and then it reminded

779
00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:44,160
me of, like, you know, when I
was in a hardcore band when I

780
00:37:44,161 --> 00:37:45,794
was a kid, that feeling of just,

781
00:37:45,795 --> 00:37:47,464
like, "we'll just do whatever we

782
00:37:47,465 --> 00:37:49,933
feel like doing," and
that was awesome to see.

783
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:52,701
To see this punk group, and it

784
00:37:52,702 --> 00:37:55,538
was all girls in front, and all

785
00:37:55,539 --> 00:37:58,841
just girls just
all on the stage.

786
00:37:58,842 --> 00:38:01,143
And, you know, for guys' shows,

787
00:38:01,144 --> 00:38:04,247
it's like, "get the
fuck off my stage."

788
00:38:04,248 --> 00:38:05,915
You know what I mean?

789
00:38:05,916 --> 00:38:10,220
And then, Kathleen was just a
force, like a full-on force.

790
00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:13,189
Like a car accident --
you can't look away.

791
00:38:13,190 --> 00:38:14,591
But you know what I mean.

792
00:38:14,592 --> 00:38:16,058
I mean a good car accident.

793
00:38:16,059 --> 00:38:17,160
I didn't mean it.

794
00:38:17,161 --> 00:38:20,941
You know, you're just
like, "what the fuck?"

795
00:38:31,041 --> 00:38:34,176
We went skateboarding
one night at adelaide.

796
00:38:34,177 --> 00:38:37,881
I didn't realize -- she
was very sneaky, I guess.

797
00:38:37,882 --> 00:38:40,716
And she was like, "hey, who
wants to go skateboarding?"

798
00:38:40,717 --> 00:38:45,160
And I was like, "uh,
I'll go skateboarding."

799
00:38:50,260 --> 00:38:52,861
Hey, Kathleen.

800
00:38:52,862 --> 00:38:54,564
Hmm?

801
00:38:54,565 --> 00:38:56,232
Come on.

802
00:38:56,233 --> 00:38:57,834
I can dry myself.

803
00:38:57,835 --> 00:38:59,535
What's going on?

804
00:38:59,536 --> 00:39:01,136
I'm not telling you.

805
00:39:01,137 --> 00:39:02,071
Dry yourself.

806
00:39:02,072 --> 00:39:03,540
Get -- would you
get out of here?!

807
00:39:03,541 --> 00:39:04,107
Dry yourself.

808
00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:07,709
Initially, it was really
difficult weaving their worlds

809
00:39:07,710 --> 00:39:09,611
together, but not because they

810
00:39:09,612 --> 00:39:11,580
didn't have stuff in common, but

811
00:39:11,581 --> 00:39:13,582
just because of the -- what will

812
00:39:13,583 --> 00:39:16,553
my friends think or my
community or something?

813
00:39:16,554 --> 00:39:18,053
I was dating somebody who,

814
00:39:18,054 --> 00:39:19,656
like, wrote "girls, girls, girls

815
00:39:19,657 --> 00:39:22,091
do my laundry" and shit
like that in the '80s.

816
00:39:22,092 --> 00:39:23,725
So, I was, like, "what does this

817
00:39:23,726 --> 00:39:25,328
mean that I'm a feminist artist,

818
00:39:25,329 --> 00:39:28,230
and I'm dating this person,
and I'm so in love with him?"

819
00:39:28,231 --> 00:39:29,832
And it was like I realized that

820
00:39:29,833 --> 00:39:32,569
you can't legislate kind of
who you fall in love with.

821
00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:34,203
Like, I was totally in love with

822
00:39:34,204 --> 00:39:37,239
him, and there was no way I was
not gonna hang out with him.

823
00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:40,042
I'm sure it made it a
little exciting and, like,

824
00:39:40,043 --> 00:39:41,810
risky-feeling, but also it just

825
00:39:41,811 --> 00:39:45,180
really opened my eyes that you
kind of fall in love with who

826
00:39:45,181 --> 00:39:46,181
you fall in love with.

827
00:39:46,182 --> 00:39:48,116
And I couldn't do
anything about it.

828
00:39:48,117 --> 00:39:49,252
But I freaked out.

829
00:39:49,253 --> 00:39:54,223
♪ 'Cause I like you ♪

830
00:39:54,224 --> 00:40:00,930
♪ baby, it's all wrong ♪

831
00:40:00,931 --> 00:40:03,600
♪ baby, baby, it's so wrong ♪

832
00:40:03,601 --> 00:40:08,037
♪ oh, baby, it's so wrong ♪

833
00:40:08,038 --> 00:40:10,806
♪ it feels so good ♪

834
00:40:10,807 --> 00:40:12,908
♪ it's all wrong ♪

835
00:40:12,909 --> 00:40:15,611
After the whole tour
happened, they had this

836
00:40:15,612 --> 00:40:18,013
long-distance relationship,
where they were only

837
00:40:18,014 --> 00:40:20,884
communicating through the
phone or writing each other.

838
00:40:20,885 --> 00:40:23,752
There was a time period
where we weren't, like -- we

839
00:40:23,753 --> 00:40:26,589
didn't do stuff in public,
and we were really private.

840
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:28,857
But that was kind of
both of our choices.

841
00:40:28,858 --> 00:40:30,593
So, it wasn't really like we

842
00:40:30,594 --> 00:40:35,635
were hiding, but I could see
how it appeared that way.

843
00:40:37,735 --> 00:40:42,638
The thing is about bikini
kill -- they were looked

844
00:40:42,639 --> 00:40:45,308
at and scrutinized so closely

845
00:40:45,309 --> 00:40:49,178
and had this certain
level of celebrity.

846
00:40:49,179 --> 00:40:52,649
But they were still
barely making rent.

847
00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:54,884
They were still in a crappy van

848
00:40:54,885 --> 00:40:56,953
that could easily break down.

849
00:40:56,954 --> 00:41:00,602
They were still sleeping
on strangers' floors.

850
00:41:11,702 --> 00:41:15,038
Bikini kill was just, like,
in this weird disarray, and

851
00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:17,674
there was a lot of
tension between us.

852
00:41:17,675 --> 00:41:19,676
You know, we'd all gotten into,

853
00:41:19,677 --> 00:41:21,877
like, weird roles of who we were

854
00:41:21,878 --> 00:41:24,113
in that band, and it was kind of

855
00:41:24,114 --> 00:41:26,749
just impossible to
get out of them.

856
00:41:26,750 --> 00:41:28,116
What is bikini kill?

857
00:41:28,117 --> 00:41:29,886
Bikini kill is forever in flux,

858
00:41:29,887 --> 00:41:33,288
and it's completely impossible
for us to discuss it, because

859
00:41:33,289 --> 00:41:34,424
it's always changing.

860
00:41:34,425 --> 00:41:37,993
And that's why it's really hard
for us to do interviews, and

861
00:41:37,994 --> 00:41:41,230
also because all four of us
don't agree on anything ever.

862
00:41:41,231 --> 00:41:42,832
And it's really difficult to

863
00:41:42,833 --> 00:41:45,435
sort out what you can
actually say about it.

864
00:41:45,436 --> 00:41:48,971
Our relationships as four
people disintegrated because we

865
00:41:48,972 --> 00:41:52,274
weren't ever looking at each
other and dealing with the

866
00:41:52,275 --> 00:41:55,088
problems that each of us had.

867
00:42:05,188 --> 00:42:07,790
I was in bikini kill
for, like, eight years.

868
00:42:07,791 --> 00:42:09,759
It's a long time
for a girl band.

869
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,361
And to be under the magnifying

870
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,062
glass and kind of pinned to wax

871
00:42:13,063 --> 00:42:15,732
how we were, it's a
really, really long time.

872
00:42:15,733 --> 00:42:17,399
Her work seemed to make her

873
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,234
feel isolated more, and, like,

874
00:42:19,235 --> 00:42:21,104
reaction to her band seemed to

875
00:42:21,105 --> 00:42:22,939
make her feel like she was set

876
00:42:22,940 --> 00:42:26,375
apart from her bandmates and
set apart from the girls in

877
00:42:26,376 --> 00:42:28,143
riot grrrl and set apart from

878
00:42:28,144 --> 00:42:32,114
other people in the punk scene,
while at the same time, her

879
00:42:32,115 --> 00:42:36,285
music and her art was bringing
people together so much.

880
00:42:36,286 --> 00:42:38,187
I think Kathleen struggled

881
00:42:38,188 --> 00:42:40,790
with the leadership
role at times.

882
00:42:40,791 --> 00:42:44,026
She had a lot of responsibility
that came with that.

883
00:42:44,027 --> 00:42:47,930
She definitely struggled with
this, the kind of implications

884
00:42:47,931 --> 00:42:54,401
that that much fame
has for a person.

885
00:42:54,471 --> 00:42:56,973
Can you... >> Louder.
I'm having trouble.

886
00:42:56,974 --> 00:42:59,741
I didn't want to be the
leader or singled out.

887
00:42:59,742 --> 00:43:02,944
And, I mean, I'm sure that
Gloria can commiserate with the

888
00:43:02,945 --> 00:43:04,513
position of being, getting a

889
00:43:04,514 --> 00:43:06,883
really negative attention
from the media.

890
00:43:06,884 --> 00:43:08,451
It feels like you're kind of

891
00:43:08,452 --> 00:43:10,819
getting kicked in the
face by both sides.

892
00:43:10,820 --> 00:43:14,489
On the one hand, I was
working in the media.

893
00:43:14,490 --> 00:43:18,960
On the other hand, I was trying
to avoid being singled out.

894
00:43:18,961 --> 00:43:21,129
It wasn't always successful.

895
00:43:21,130 --> 00:43:24,433
It's not always under your
control, but I think the

896
00:43:24,434 --> 00:43:26,368
challenge is to figure out how

897
00:43:26,369 --> 00:43:28,837
to use it to convey
come message.

898
00:43:28,838 --> 00:43:31,874
I'm not wiling to deal with
the mainstream anymore, when

899
00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:35,044
they're constantly asking me
questions about sexual abuse,

900
00:43:35,045 --> 00:43:38,281
about if I've been a stripper,
if I haven't been a stripper,

901
00:43:38,282 --> 00:43:41,216
constantly just completely
sexist shit, where they're

902
00:43:41,217 --> 00:43:44,386
trying to turn on the band that
I'm in or the projects I'm

903
00:43:44,387 --> 00:43:47,355
involved with against other
women who I respect in the

904
00:43:47,356 --> 00:43:50,359
community, coming up, you
know, saying, "so-and-so said

905
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,060
so-and-so about you" to get you

906
00:43:52,061 --> 00:43:54,796
to slag off another woman
so that they can print,

907
00:43:54,797 --> 00:43:57,133
"Kathleen Hanna doesn't
like PJ Harvey."

908
00:43:57,134 --> 00:44:00,236
You know, like, whatever, and
creating all these schisms

909
00:44:00,237 --> 00:44:01,604
because it sells papers.

910
00:44:01,605 --> 00:44:02,605
This is the thing that's

911
00:44:02,606 --> 00:44:04,806
happened ever since the
beginning of time.

912
00:44:04,807 --> 00:44:06,174
You ask a woman about another

913
00:44:06,175 --> 00:44:07,609
woman and try to get her to say

914
00:44:07,610 --> 00:44:09,111
something bad, and then you make

915
00:44:09,112 --> 00:44:10,613
the article all
about a catfight.

916
00:44:10,614 --> 00:44:12,281
Lollapalooza news, meanwhile,

917
00:44:12,282 --> 00:44:13,582
Courtney love, one of the tour's

918
00:44:13,583 --> 00:44:16,384
headliners this year, with her
band hole, was officially

919
00:44:16,385 --> 00:44:18,988
charged with fourth-degree
assault this week for, as she

920
00:44:18,989 --> 00:44:20,422
acknowledged in a recent online

921
00:44:20,423 --> 00:44:21,823
rant, punching out bikini kill

922
00:44:21,824 --> 00:44:24,493
singer Kathleen Hanna backstage
at a lollapalooza show on

923
00:44:24,494 --> 00:44:25,595
July 4th, an incident first

924
00:44:25,596 --> 00:44:28,631
reported also online by
Thurston Moore of the

925
00:44:28,632 --> 00:44:30,232
bill-topping sonic youth.

926
00:44:30,233 --> 00:44:31,933
We did lollapalooza.

927
00:44:31,934 --> 00:44:34,102
Kathleen was there, and she was

928
00:44:34,103 --> 00:44:36,305
standing on the stage, watching

929
00:44:36,306 --> 00:44:38,473
us, and Courtney love basically

930
00:44:38,474 --> 00:44:40,542
just punched her in the face.

931
00:44:40,543 --> 00:44:44,113
And that was the
beginning of our tour.

932
00:44:44,114 --> 00:44:45,580
I mean, there's the whole

933
00:44:45,581 --> 00:44:47,649
lollapalooza punching
Courtney love thing.

934
00:44:47,650 --> 00:44:51,154
No, Courtney love punched her.

935
00:44:51,155 --> 00:44:54,422
See, I don't -- I... I
can't trust the Internet.

936
00:44:54,423 --> 00:44:57,192
That's the whole thing that
pissed me off is that later,

937
00:44:57,193 --> 00:44:58,660
people were like, "they fought!

938
00:44:58,661 --> 00:45:00,663
There was this rivalry,
and they fought."

939
00:45:00,664 --> 00:45:03,431
It's like, "dude, I was standing
there watching a band, and

940
00:45:03,432 --> 00:45:05,267
Courtney walked up
and attacked me."

941
00:45:05,268 --> 00:45:06,935
I think people don't realize

942
00:45:06,936 --> 00:45:09,272
that Kathleen and Courtney
didn't know each other.

943
00:45:09,273 --> 00:45:11,239
It's a real bummer
to be assaulted.

944
00:45:11,240 --> 00:45:12,475
It sucks. It's not cool.

945
00:45:12,476 --> 00:45:13,875
It's a real bummer if you're a

946
00:45:13,876 --> 00:45:14,977
feminist, and you're assaulted

947
00:45:14,978 --> 00:45:17,346
by another woman, because it's
just kind of heartbreaking,

948
00:45:17,347 --> 00:45:19,247
especially a woman who you're

949
00:45:19,248 --> 00:45:24,459
kind of hoping you guys could
be some kind of allies.

950
00:45:29,559 --> 00:45:32,160
I think a lot of people who
ar close to Kathleen have

951
00:45:32,161 --> 00:45:34,497
worried about her safety
for a variety of reasons.

952
00:45:34,498 --> 00:45:39,201
You know, she's experienced
violence towards her in really

953
00:45:39,202 --> 00:45:43,305
aggressive ways that nobody
should have to experience.

954
00:45:43,306 --> 00:45:46,908
Hatred for bikini kill
and specifically Kathleen.

955
00:45:46,909 --> 00:45:48,910
She would get letters from

956
00:45:48,911 --> 00:45:52,415
guys that were like,
"you need to die."

957
00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:56,084
They just wanted to,
like, stamp her out.

958
00:45:56,085 --> 00:45:59,087
And I don't know why.

959
00:45:59,088 --> 00:46:00,622
I remember things like that

960
00:46:00,623 --> 00:46:03,058
would happen, and it would
feel totally shitty.

961
00:46:03,059 --> 00:46:04,627
And I was just like, I had kids

962
00:46:04,628 --> 00:46:06,095
writing me, saying, like, you

963
00:46:06,096 --> 00:46:07,663
know, "I was gonna kill myself,

964
00:46:07,664 --> 00:46:10,066
and I got your record,
and you saved my life."

965
00:46:10,067 --> 00:46:13,002
And all I could say back is,
like, "you saved my life, too,

966
00:46:13,003 --> 00:46:14,537
because I couldn't get through

967
00:46:14,538 --> 00:46:16,538
all of the -- not criticism, but

968
00:46:16,539 --> 00:46:22,322
all the hate that
got thrown my way."

969
00:46:32,422 --> 00:46:35,957
I made a record called
"Julie ruin" that was a solo

970
00:46:35,958 --> 00:46:38,026
record, and I made it kind of to

971
00:46:38,027 --> 00:46:39,729
escape what had happened to me.

972
00:46:39,730 --> 00:46:42,598
And so I made it under
an assumed name.

973
00:46:42,599 --> 00:46:44,634
In bikini kill, I was singing to

974
00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:46,669
an elusive asshole male that was

975
00:46:46,670 --> 00:46:48,504
fucking the world over, and I

976
00:46:48,505 --> 00:46:51,473
was allowing other women
to watch me do that.

977
00:46:51,474 --> 00:46:53,075
And I really wanted to start

978
00:46:53,076 --> 00:46:55,044
directly singing to other women.

979
00:46:55,045 --> 00:46:56,611
For Kathleen's music to grow

980
00:46:56,612 --> 00:46:59,047
in directions toward electronic

981
00:46:59,048 --> 00:47:01,683
music completely
makes sense to me.

982
00:47:01,684 --> 00:47:04,520
When you've disconnected from
your community or lost your

983
00:47:04,521 --> 00:47:05,988
community, it's amazing if you

984
00:47:05,989 --> 00:47:08,223
can seize the means of
technology yourself.

985
00:47:08,224 --> 00:47:11,093
I went to visit Kathleen, and
we went to some music shop.

986
00:47:11,094 --> 00:47:13,029
They had a drumatics
drum machine.

987
00:47:13,030 --> 00:47:15,163
Kathleen bought this drum
machine for 40 bucks.

988
00:47:15,164 --> 00:47:18,366
Then, she recorded, like, the
whole fucking "Julie ruin" record.

989
00:47:18,367 --> 00:47:22,510
That record is a
fucking masterpiece.

990
00:47:27,610 --> 00:47:30,413
It was this whole, new
side of Kathleen Hanna.

991
00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:31,781
It's like you know someone.

992
00:47:31,782 --> 00:47:35,216
They're your friend but had
never opened up their scrapbook

993
00:47:35,217 --> 00:47:38,087
and showed you what really
made them who they are.

994
00:47:38,088 --> 00:47:39,622
That's what "Julie ruin" started

995
00:47:39,623 --> 00:47:44,630
to do for those of us who are
interested in Kathleen Hanna.

996
00:47:46,730 --> 00:47:50,165
I felt like a lot of my
graphic sensibility came out in

997
00:47:50,166 --> 00:47:53,035
it because using samples,
it's very cut-and-paste.

998
00:47:53,036 --> 00:47:56,205
Making it fancy for me was
always being in my room by

999
00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:59,542
myself and cutting stuff and
having this really specific

1000
00:47:59,543 --> 00:48:01,243
relationship to my materials

1001
00:48:01,244 --> 00:48:03,645
that was not mediated
by anybody else.

1002
00:48:03,646 --> 00:48:06,649
She was figuring
everything out for herself.

1003
00:48:06,650 --> 00:48:09,417
It sounded lo-fi and on

1004
00:48:09,418 --> 00:48:13,221
purpose lo-fi and
just really smart.

1005
00:48:13,222 --> 00:48:15,091
Sounds like you could hear a

1006
00:48:15,092 --> 00:48:17,125
human being's fingers
all over it.

1007
00:48:17,126 --> 00:48:18,694
It sounds like bedroom culture.

1008
00:48:18,695 --> 00:48:23,238
It sounds like something a
girl made in her bedroom.

1009
00:48:29,338 --> 00:48:30,839
A girl's bedroom sometimes can

1010
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:32,841
be this space of
real creativity.

1011
00:48:32,842 --> 00:48:34,442
The problem is that these

1012
00:48:34,443 --> 00:48:36,812
bedrooms are all cut
off from each other.

1013
00:48:36,813 --> 00:48:38,446
So, how do you take that bedroom

1014
00:48:38,447 --> 00:48:40,082
that you're cut off from all the

1015
00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:43,151
other girls who are secretly in
their bedroom writing secret

1016
00:48:43,152 --> 00:48:44,720
things or making secret songs?

1017
00:48:44,721 --> 00:48:46,355
I wanted the "Julie ruin" record

1018
00:48:46,356 --> 00:48:49,325
to sound like a girl from her
bedroom made this record but

1019
00:48:49,326 --> 00:48:50,826
then didn't just throw it away,

1020
00:48:50,827 --> 00:48:52,361
or it wasn't just in her diary.

1021
00:48:52,362 --> 00:48:54,863
But she took it out and
shared it with people.

1022
00:48:54,864 --> 00:49:01,136
♪ ...how many times
I made you cry ♪

1023
00:49:01,137 --> 00:49:09,037
♪ you can tell anyone
anything you want ♪

1024
00:49:09,579 --> 00:49:14,750
♪ but if you're gonna talk about
how I deserve what you did,

1025
00:49:14,751 --> 00:49:19,788
you can look now
'cause I'm gone ♪

1026
00:49:19,789 --> 00:49:20,922
To me, the "Julie ruin"

1027
00:49:20,923 --> 00:49:22,558
record is what really changed

1028
00:49:22,559 --> 00:49:25,428
Kathleen, in terms of her,
like, she was in a band.

1029
00:49:25,429 --> 00:49:28,263
She was in this band bikini
kill, and they did all

1030
00:49:28,264 --> 00:49:29,431
this fucking stuff.

1031
00:49:29,432 --> 00:49:30,832
And she made this record

1032
00:49:30,833 --> 00:49:34,569
"Julie ruin," and she's,
like, now a musician.

1033
00:49:34,570 --> 00:49:37,043
Fuck it.

1034
00:49:41,143 --> 00:49:43,779
"Julie ruin" was kind of the

1035
00:49:43,780 --> 00:49:46,448
template, the foundation stone.

1036
00:49:46,449 --> 00:49:53,154
And then Le Tigre was the
beginning of a whole new world.

1037
00:49:53,155 --> 00:49:54,656
I decided I wanted to move to

1038
00:49:54,657 --> 00:49:56,192
Portland 'cause I had to get out

1039
00:49:56,193 --> 00:50:03,299
of Olympia 'cause it
was driving me crazy.

1040
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:05,500
I gave Kathleen my 'zine.

1041
00:50:05,501 --> 00:50:08,904
I mean, I don't know if you'd
call that, like, meeting her.

1042
00:50:08,905 --> 00:50:10,638
I just, like, said hi and gave

1043
00:50:10,639 --> 00:50:13,609
it to her at a show at the
X-ray café in Portland.

1044
00:50:13,610 --> 00:50:16,712
I read Jo's fanzine, and I
was like, "this is the best

1045
00:50:16,713 --> 00:50:18,214
fanzine I've read ever.

1046
00:50:18,215 --> 00:50:20,549
She has to be my
new best friend."

1047
00:50:20,550 --> 00:50:22,384
Basically, I spent a whole day,

1048
00:50:22,385 --> 00:50:25,187
like, just driving
around, looking for her.

1049
00:50:25,188 --> 00:50:27,723
She was like, "you're
gonna be my friend.

1050
00:50:27,724 --> 00:50:29,258
We're gonna be in a band.

1051
00:50:29,259 --> 00:50:34,997
And that's that."

1052
00:50:34,998 --> 00:50:36,297
And I was like, "okay."

1053
00:50:36,298 --> 00:50:37,899
My original idea was to try

1054
00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:40,703
and make the "Julie ruin"
record into a stage show.

1055
00:50:40,704 --> 00:50:42,238
I never would have been in a

1056
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:43,939
band again in my whole life, I'm

1057
00:50:43,940 --> 00:50:45,508
convinced of it, if it wasn't

1058
00:50:45,509 --> 00:50:47,009
for my friendship with johanna,

1059
00:50:47,010 --> 00:50:48,442
'cause I was really
burnt out and sad.

1060
00:50:48,443 --> 00:50:49,979
I was really depressed.

1061
00:50:49,980 --> 00:50:54,250
I remember sitting in my car,
and it was raining, with Jo.

1062
00:50:54,251 --> 00:50:56,852
And I just, like, looked
at her and started crying.

1063
00:50:56,853 --> 00:50:58,921
And I just told her everything.

1064
00:50:58,922 --> 00:51:03,550
♪ I want you to stay ♪

1065
00:51:27,650 --> 00:51:31,620
I started realizing that I
should move to New York.

1066
00:51:31,621 --> 00:51:33,955
We didn't really have a
place to stay, exactly.

1067
00:51:33,956 --> 00:51:35,024
We were both really broke.

1068
00:51:35,025 --> 00:51:36,357
I mean, really broke.

1069
00:51:36,358 --> 00:51:39,328
I just moved to New
York with $400.

1070
00:51:39,329 --> 00:51:41,529
There's no way I could have
afforded rent, so I was really

1071
00:51:41,530 --> 00:51:42,864
fortunate that I had a boyfriend

1072
00:51:42,865 --> 00:51:45,334
who had an apartment and
would let me stay with him.

1073
00:51:45,335 --> 00:51:47,903
You know, I was psyched about
everything -- psyched about

1074
00:51:47,904 --> 00:51:49,038
riding the subway, going to

1075
00:51:49,039 --> 00:51:51,573
museums, being near
johanna, being with Adam.

1076
00:51:51,574 --> 00:51:55,310
Everything was
good again for me.

1077
00:51:55,311 --> 00:51:58,279
And then the Woodstock
thing happened.

1078
00:51:58,280 --> 00:51:59,415
Woodstock '99.

1079
00:51:59,416 --> 00:52:01,985
This is a very
dangerous situation.

1080
00:52:02,085 --> 00:52:02,850
It was disgusting.

1081
00:52:02,851 --> 00:52:03,451
I was molested.

1082
00:52:03,452 --> 00:52:06,321
I was stomping around
the apartment, pissed off.

1083
00:52:06,322 --> 00:52:09,892
And he was stomping around
the apartment, pissed off.

1084
00:52:09,893 --> 00:52:11,026
Eight rapes and sexual

1085
00:52:11,027 --> 00:52:12,794
assaults during the
festival reported.

1086
00:52:12,795 --> 00:52:14,296
I was, like, "why don't you

1087
00:52:14,297 --> 00:52:16,031
say something at your
acceptance speech?"

1088
00:52:16,032 --> 00:52:17,633
And then we sat down, and we

1089
00:52:17,634 --> 00:52:22,471
worked on writing something,
and then he did it.

1090
00:52:22,472 --> 00:52:24,707
♪ Also known for
the flintstone flop ♪

1091
00:52:24,708 --> 00:52:26,909
♪ Tammy "d" gets
biz on the crops ♪

1092
00:52:26,943 --> 00:52:31,346
♪ Beastie Boys know to let
the beat mmm...Drop ♪

1093
00:52:31,347 --> 00:52:33,482
♪ now when I wrote graffiti,
my name was slop ♪

1094
00:52:33,483 --> 00:52:36,051
♪ if I rap soup, my
beats is stock ♪

1095
00:52:36,052 --> 00:52:38,988
I read in the news and heard

1096
00:52:38,989 --> 00:52:44,560
from my friends all about the
sexual assaults and the rapes

1097
00:52:44,561 --> 00:52:47,596
that went down at Woodstock '99.

1098
00:52:47,597 --> 00:52:52,100
It made me feel really
sad and angry, okay?

1099
00:52:52,101 --> 00:52:54,335
When he started talking about

1100
00:52:54,336 --> 00:52:57,605
something real amongst all of
this completely superficial

1101
00:52:57,606 --> 00:53:01,042
bullshit, the room
just -- it was like...

1102
00:53:01,043 --> 00:53:03,011
Like, everything changed.

1103
00:53:03,012 --> 00:53:06,415
The whole room, it
felt so "who farted?"

1104
00:53:06,416 --> 00:53:07,883
Like, beyond "who farted?"

1105
00:53:07,884 --> 00:53:10,019
Are you all there?

1106
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:11,419
Okay.

1107
00:53:11,420 --> 00:53:13,388
Y'all remember that, Woodstock?

1108
00:53:13,389 --> 00:53:15,124
It definitely sucked the party

1109
00:53:15,125 --> 00:53:18,127
out of the room, that's
for sure, for a minute.

1110
00:53:18,128 --> 00:53:20,129
But I'm sure somebody got up.

1111
00:53:20,130 --> 00:53:23,799
I'm sure Uncle cracker got up
and played some awesome song,

1112
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:27,367
and the audience was back.

1113
00:53:37,146 --> 00:53:39,180
♪ Who took the bomp? ♪

1114
00:53:39,181 --> 00:53:42,151
Kathleen had a bass, and she
really wanted to play drums.

1115
00:53:42,152 --> 00:53:43,618
I had bought a sampler.

1116
00:53:43,619 --> 00:53:46,888
I was interested in making
sample-based electronic music.

1117
00:53:46,889 --> 00:53:48,556
Jo believed in me, so much

1118
00:53:48,557 --> 00:53:50,192
that she went down in this dingy

1119
00:53:50,193 --> 00:53:52,960
basement and wrote with
me every single day.

1120
00:53:52,961 --> 00:53:54,529
Things shifted with J.D.

1121
00:53:54,530 --> 00:53:55,797
Joining Le Tigre.

1122
00:53:55,798 --> 00:53:58,567
I remember getting
a call from Kathleen.

1123
00:53:58,568 --> 00:54:00,703
She was like, "we're practicing,

1124
00:54:00,704 --> 00:54:06,408
and we want to know if you
want to do our slides."

1125
00:54:06,409 --> 00:54:10,446
We went on, like, a two-week
tour of the east coast, and she

1126
00:54:10,447 --> 00:54:12,413
was, like, "you're a performer.

1127
00:54:12,414 --> 00:54:14,582
You really need to be on stage."

1128
00:54:14,583 --> 00:54:16,651
During that tour, Kathleen was

1129
00:54:16,652 --> 00:54:18,821
like, "will you be in our band?"

1130
00:54:18,822 --> 00:54:20,455
And I was like, "yeah."

1131
00:54:20,456 --> 00:54:22,924
The second she was on stage,

1132
00:54:22,925 --> 00:54:26,194
she just had such a
great stage presence.

1133
00:54:26,195 --> 00:54:29,864
We were, like, the
feminist party band.

1134
00:54:29,865 --> 00:54:32,234
Our whole ethic was about making

1135
00:54:32,235 --> 00:54:34,803
something that had politically

1136
00:54:34,804 --> 00:54:39,607
radical content that
you could dance to.

1137
00:54:39,608 --> 00:54:42,511
Kathleen's voice was beautiful.

1138
00:54:42,512 --> 00:54:45,013
She's, like, at that perfect age

1139
00:54:45,014 --> 00:54:47,249
at that point to have, like,

1140
00:54:47,250 --> 00:54:50,919
this full, resonant,
amazing, powerful voice.

1141
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:53,055
Le Tigre seemed like it was much

1142
00:54:53,056 --> 00:54:55,056
more sophisticated and mature.

1143
00:54:55,057 --> 00:54:58,926
It understood what people needed
at that time, in terms of

1144
00:54:58,927 --> 00:55:00,995
danceability, still maintaining

1145
00:55:00,996 --> 00:55:03,064
a really interesting message, a

1146
00:55:03,065 --> 00:55:06,701
message of noncompetition,
of a culture of praise, but

1147
00:55:06,702 --> 00:55:11,473
sophisticated and understanding
what a good pop song is.

1148
00:55:11,474 --> 00:55:15,511
Bikini kill understood song
structure, too, but le Tigre

1149
00:55:15,512 --> 00:55:17,546
just, like, fucking nailed it.

1150
00:55:17,547 --> 00:55:18,395
♪ Come on ♪

1151
00:55:20,784 --> 00:55:24,622
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

1152
00:55:26,722 --> 00:55:30,591
We did, like, a really long
tour after "this island" was

1153
00:55:30,592 --> 00:55:34,495
released, and it was like a
world tour, a year and a half.

1154
00:55:34,496 --> 00:55:35,730
We went to Australia.

1155
00:55:35,731 --> 00:55:36,931
We went to Japan.

1156
00:55:36,932 --> 00:55:39,701
We did the U.S. and
Europe and everything.

1157
00:55:39,702 --> 00:55:40,736
♪ Take a good look ♪

1158
00:55:40,737 --> 00:55:42,303
♪ take a photo ♪

1159
00:55:42,304 --> 00:55:47,542
♪ write about it in
your tiny notebook ♪

1160
00:55:47,543 --> 00:55:50,979
♪ don't you know? ♪

1161
00:55:50,980 --> 00:55:54,783
♪ You're out co-o-ld ♪

1162
00:55:54,784 --> 00:55:58,187
♪ don't you know? ♪

1163
00:55:58,188 --> 00:55:59,721
♪ It's our dance floor ♪

1164
00:55:59,722 --> 00:56:01,589
♪ T.K.O. ♪

1165
00:56:01,590 --> 00:56:03,158
♪ Hear it on the radio ♪

1166
00:56:03,159 --> 00:56:04,826
♪ T.K.O. ♪

1167
00:56:04,827 --> 00:56:06,962
♪ Play it on the stereo ♪

1168
00:56:06,963 --> 00:56:08,230
♪ T.K.O. ♪

1169
00:56:08,231 --> 00:56:10,299
♪ Watch a live video ♪

1170
00:56:10,300 --> 00:56:11,700
♪ T.K.O. ♪

1171
00:56:11,701 --> 00:56:13,535
♪ Hear it on the radio ♪

1172
00:56:13,536 --> 00:56:15,136
♪ T.K.O. ♪

1173
00:56:15,137 --> 00:56:17,071
♪ Play it on the stereo ♪

1174
00:56:17,072 --> 00:56:18,874
♪ T.K.O. ♪

1175
00:56:18,875 --> 00:56:20,341
♪ Watch a live video ♪

1176
00:56:20,342 --> 00:56:22,143
♪ T.K.O. ♪

1177
00:56:22,144 --> 00:56:24,712
♪ T.K.O.O. ♪

1178
00:56:24,713 --> 00:56:28,716
Le Tigre moved out into, like,
bigger and bigger circles,

1179
00:56:28,717 --> 00:56:31,919
embraced more and more of
humanity and all the issues.

1180
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:34,555
And what does it really
mean to be a feminist?

1181
00:56:34,556 --> 00:56:36,959
It means that you pay attention
to all different kinds of

1182
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:38,593
oppression, and you stand up for

1183
00:56:38,594 --> 00:56:39,861
all those people that don't have

1184
00:56:39,862 --> 00:56:43,265
a voice, whether they're trans
or people of color or class,

1185
00:56:43,266 --> 00:56:45,366
race, gender,
sexuality, everything.

1186
00:56:45,367 --> 00:56:46,801
She did that.

1187
00:56:46,802 --> 00:56:48,569
And then, the next challenge is,

1188
00:56:48,570 --> 00:56:51,172
like, how do you do that
on a personal level?

1189
00:56:51,173 --> 00:56:59,073
♪ The ocean calls
us away from... ♪

1190
00:57:01,317 --> 00:57:04,585
All the sudden, in north
Carolina, I lost my voice,

1191
00:57:04,586 --> 00:57:06,754
and at sound check,
I lost pitch.

1192
00:57:06,755 --> 00:57:08,055
I always think of it as a

1193
00:57:08,056 --> 00:57:10,392
bullet, kind of, like,
my voice is a bullet.

1194
00:57:10,393 --> 00:57:13,395
And there's, like, a note that
I want to hit that's here or

1195
00:57:13,396 --> 00:57:14,997
that's here or here or whatever,

1196
00:57:14,998 --> 00:57:16,364
and then the breath is like the

1197
00:57:16,365 --> 00:57:17,899
bullet coming out of my mouth.

1198
00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:20,368
And it's going to
hit the target?

1199
00:57:20,369 --> 00:57:22,671
Well, I was like -- I could get

1200
00:57:22,672 --> 00:57:26,274
the breath, but then the
bullet would just go "waahhh."

1201
00:57:26,275 --> 00:57:28,243
Like, I couldn't hit the target.

1202
00:57:28,244 --> 00:57:29,343
I was terrified.

1203
00:57:29,344 --> 00:57:30,779
I couldn't believe it.

1204
00:57:30,780 --> 00:57:35,116
So, we canceled the show in
north Carolina, and I went back

1205
00:57:35,117 --> 00:57:38,386
to New York and found
a throat specialist.

1206
00:57:38,387 --> 00:57:40,622
It's actually really traumatic

1207
00:57:40,623 --> 00:57:42,857
when I think about it, because

1208
00:57:42,858 --> 00:57:47,261
it was like singing is my life,
like, it's everything to me.

1209
00:57:47,262 --> 00:57:50,799
♪ ...if I would
say that, too ♪

1210
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:52,401
♪ I don't know about that ♪

1211
00:57:52,402 --> 00:57:54,236
When you have a sore throat, you

1212
00:57:54,237 --> 00:57:56,071
have a sore throat, but once the

1213
00:57:56,072 --> 00:57:57,805
adrenaline would kick in for a

1214
00:57:57,806 --> 00:57:59,942
show, I didn't ever
feel any pain.

1215
00:57:59,943 --> 00:58:01,977
I never felt pain onstage, ever.

1216
00:58:01,978 --> 00:58:03,812
No matter how bad I felt, once I

1217
00:58:03,813 --> 00:58:10,886
was onstage and the lights
hit me, I was fine.

1218
00:58:10,887 --> 00:58:15,991
When I'm playing music, I
don't feel anything bad.

1219
00:58:15,992 --> 00:58:21,863
♪ I don't know about that ♪

1220
00:58:21,864 --> 00:58:27,349
♪ I don't know about that ♪

1221
00:58:39,449 --> 00:58:43,285
♪ you are... ♪

1222
00:58:43,286 --> 00:58:47,455
We were so enmeshed in our
band that that's all we did.

1223
00:58:47,456 --> 00:58:49,825
It was all band, band, band,

1224
00:58:49,826 --> 00:58:52,326
band, band, and I'd been in that

1225
00:58:52,327 --> 00:58:54,763
mode of every band I'd done was

1226
00:58:54,764 --> 00:58:57,265
just a complete immersion, where

1227
00:58:57,266 --> 00:59:00,002
my identity was so wrapped up in

1228
00:59:00,003 --> 00:59:03,839
my bands that it
wasn't really healthy.

1229
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:04,739
♪ You got to keep on ♪

1230
00:59:04,740 --> 00:59:05,741
♪ keep on livin' ♪

1231
00:59:05,742 --> 00:59:07,209
♪ you got to keep on ♪

1232
00:59:07,210 --> 00:59:08,109
♪ keep on livin' ♪

1233
00:59:08,110 --> 00:59:09,810
♪ you got to keep on ♪

1234
00:59:09,811 --> 00:59:12,113
Kathleen started getting sick

1235
00:59:12,114 --> 00:59:14,249
on tour a lot, which happens.

1236
00:59:14,250 --> 00:59:15,884
You know what I mean?

1237
00:59:15,885 --> 00:59:19,254
I get sick every tour,
first day of the tour.

1238
00:59:19,255 --> 00:59:20,788
It just happens.

1239
00:59:20,789 --> 00:59:23,792
♪ Disproportionate
reactions just won't fade ♪

1240
00:59:23,793 --> 00:59:27,529
I noticed her feeling
depressed more than anything,

1241
00:59:27,530 --> 00:59:29,531
and I think I noticed her having

1242
00:59:29,532 --> 00:59:33,768
more and more sickness, in terms
of, like, losing her voice,

1243
00:59:33,769 --> 00:59:35,904
getting strep throat, whatever.

1244
00:59:35,905 --> 00:59:38,073
And she was taking
antibiotics a lot.

1245
00:59:38,074 --> 00:59:39,808
So, I think that I did have some

1246
00:59:39,809 --> 00:59:42,743
sort of sense of, like, the
fact that she wasn't well.

1247
00:59:42,744 --> 00:59:43,979
♪ Keep on livin' ♪

1248
00:59:43,980 --> 00:59:45,814
♪ you got to keep on ♪

1249
00:59:45,815 --> 00:59:46,515
♪ keep on livin' ♪

1250
00:59:46,516 --> 00:59:50,252
I knew there was
something wrong, for sure.

1251
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:51,953
I was really worried.

1252
00:59:51,954 --> 00:59:52,921
♪ Keep on livin' ♪

1253
00:59:52,922 --> 00:59:54,189
♪ keep on livin' ♪

1254
00:59:54,190 --> 00:59:55,756
♪ keep on livin' ♪

1255
00:59:55,757 --> 00:59:56,892
♪ you got to keep on livin' ♪

1256
00:59:56,893 --> 00:59:57,633
♪ keep on livin' ♪

1257
01:00:03,398 --> 01:00:07,535
I struggled through the le
Tigre tour dates that we had

1258
01:00:07,536 --> 01:00:10,906
and everything we had
planned and finished it.

1259
01:00:10,907 --> 01:00:11,839
Whoo!

1260
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:13,774
Thank you, guys!

1261
01:00:13,775 --> 01:00:16,784
Thank you so much.

1262
01:00:21,884 --> 01:00:23,852
I sat down with Jo and J.D. And

1263
01:00:23,853 --> 01:00:25,921
said, "I can't do this anymore."

1264
01:00:25,922 --> 01:00:27,823
We all had lunch one day, and

1265
01:00:27,824 --> 01:00:31,192
it was kind of just, like, we
all knew that something was

1266
01:00:31,193 --> 01:00:33,794
gonna happen, but we
weren't sure what.

1267
01:00:33,795 --> 01:00:36,864
And Kathleen was like, "I don't
want to do this anymore."

1268
01:00:36,865 --> 01:00:39,567
I kind of felt, like, spent
in terms of writing songs.

1269
01:00:39,568 --> 01:00:41,002
I felt like I had said

1270
01:00:41,003 --> 01:00:47,206
everything I had to
say up to that point.

1271
01:00:47,844 --> 01:00:50,145
Our last real headlining show

1272
01:00:50,146 --> 01:00:54,314
was at Webster hall in New York.

1273
01:01:29,652 --> 01:01:32,053
I lied when I said I was done.

1274
01:01:32,054 --> 01:01:33,421
I knew I wasn't done.

1275
01:01:33,422 --> 01:01:37,058
I just didn't want to face the
fact that I was really sick.

1276
01:01:37,059 --> 01:01:39,995
I wanted to have
control over it.

1277
01:01:39,996 --> 01:01:43,665
I wanted to tell everybody
I chose to stop.

1278
01:01:43,666 --> 01:01:46,968
But I didn't -- I didn't
-- I didn't choose.

1279
01:01:46,969 --> 01:01:52,540
I was told by my
body I had to stop.

1280
01:01:52,541 --> 01:01:57,111
But that was really painful for
me to be told by anybody or

1281
01:01:57,112 --> 01:02:00,247
anything what I could
and couldn't do.

1282
01:02:00,248 --> 01:02:06,888
So, I told myself and told my
bandmates and told my husband

1283
01:02:06,889 --> 01:02:10,357
and told the world that I chose

1284
01:02:10,358 --> 01:02:14,696
to stop playing music because
I had nothing else to say...

1285
01:02:14,697 --> 01:02:20,035
Because that felt better to me
than being in touch with the

1286
01:02:20,036 --> 01:02:21,569
fact that I might not ever be

1287
01:02:21,570 --> 01:02:26,086
able to do the thing I love more
than anything in the world.

1288
01:02:59,307 --> 01:03:02,643
We were seeing just, like,
all these different doctors,

1289
01:03:02,644 --> 01:03:04,078
trying to figure it out.

1290
01:03:04,079 --> 01:03:07,649
And they were telling her all
this different stuff, and they

1291
01:03:07,650 --> 01:03:10,517
were doing all kinds of
fucked-up, crazy tests.

1292
01:03:10,518 --> 01:03:13,555
They were like -- she had
some weird eye thing, and the

1293
01:03:13,556 --> 01:03:15,189
doctor's like, "oh, yeah, it's

1294
01:03:15,190 --> 01:03:20,694
probably lupus, or
it could be M.S."

1295
01:03:20,695 --> 01:03:22,062
Just like all this fucking crazy

1296
01:03:22,063 --> 01:03:23,364
shit, and you're like, "what?!"

1297
01:03:23,365 --> 01:03:30,205
2008, the illnesses
took a really weird turn.

1298
01:03:30,206 --> 01:03:32,573
Sex education through...

1299
01:03:32,574 --> 01:03:35,109
I went to the planned
parenthood march.

1300
01:03:35,110 --> 01:03:36,477
I was not comfortable.

1301
01:03:36,478 --> 01:03:38,279
I was having language problems.

1302
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:46,180
Our next speaker was the
lead singer for bikini kill.

1303
01:03:47,556 --> 01:03:51,493
I feel like I don't have
to say anything else.

1304
01:03:51,494 --> 01:03:58,231
And le Tigre and the co-founder
of the riot grrrl movement.

1305
01:03:58,733 --> 01:04:01,335
I couldn't hear out of the

1306
01:04:01,336 --> 01:04:07,642
one ear, and I was, like,
really struggling.

1307
01:04:07,643 --> 01:04:11,812
All the sudden, the sound
changes in your head.

1308
01:04:11,813 --> 01:04:13,580
I thought I was having a stroke.

1309
01:04:13,581 --> 01:04:14,482
I couldn't talk.

1310
01:04:14,483 --> 01:04:15,716
I couldn't communicate.

1311
01:04:15,717 --> 01:04:18,419
And I was slurring,
like I was drunk.

1312
01:04:18,420 --> 01:04:19,654
One side of my body felt numb.

1313
01:04:19,655 --> 01:04:23,091
The paramedics thought that
I had a minor heart attack.

1314
01:04:23,092 --> 01:04:26,660
When I got to the hospital, the
doctor asked me for all my

1315
01:04:26,661 --> 01:04:28,529
symptoms, and at that point, I

1316
01:04:28,530 --> 01:04:30,397
was like, "I'm not gonna lie."

1317
01:04:30,398 --> 01:04:31,533
I just was like, "fuck it.

1318
01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:32,466
I'm in the hospital.

1319
01:04:32,467 --> 01:04:34,368
I'm just gonna tell
this woman everything."

1320
01:04:34,369 --> 01:04:39,473
She was just like, "yeah, you're
just having a panic attack,

1321
01:04:39,474 --> 01:04:44,578
because there's no way that you
could be having neurological

1322
01:04:44,579 --> 01:04:48,683
stuff and breathing difficulties
and the stomach stuff."

1323
01:04:48,684 --> 01:04:50,451
She was like, "there's too many

1324
01:04:50,452 --> 01:04:52,252
body systems to be involved, and

1325
01:04:52,253 --> 01:04:53,855
there's no illness that has all

1326
01:04:53,856 --> 01:05:00,260
those body systems involved."

1327
01:05:00,262 --> 01:05:02,096
To be living with something and

1328
01:05:02,097 --> 01:05:06,552
not knowing what it is,
is really terrifying.

1329
01:05:24,652 --> 01:05:26,821
I have late-stage lyme disease,

1330
01:05:26,822 --> 01:05:30,258
which means I've had lyme
disease for -- now for

1331
01:05:30,259 --> 01:05:32,633
about six years.

1332
01:05:38,733 --> 01:05:41,201
When she came to see me, she

1333
01:05:41,202 --> 01:05:44,138
had been ill for
about five years.

1334
01:05:44,139 --> 01:05:46,540
She actually recalled that she

1335
01:05:46,541 --> 01:05:49,843
had been bitten by a
tick back in 2005.

1336
01:05:49,844 --> 01:05:51,446
And, in fact, going through her

1337
01:05:51,447 --> 01:05:55,750
history, she had been
treated for lyme disease.

1338
01:05:55,751 --> 01:05:58,685
I took antibiotics for
three weeks afterwards.

1339
01:05:58,686 --> 01:06:00,355
So, when I got sick later, I

1340
01:06:00,356 --> 01:06:02,723
never associated it
with lyme disease.

1341
01:06:02,724 --> 01:06:06,194
And when it was brought up to
me by different specialists, I

1342
01:06:06,195 --> 01:06:07,895
said, "I already took the test."

1343
01:06:07,896 --> 01:06:09,897
You know, I would pull out my

1344
01:06:09,898 --> 01:06:11,866
shitty Elisa test that's, like,

1345
01:06:11,867 --> 01:06:13,801
the $20 test that the insurance

1346
01:06:13,802 --> 01:06:15,736
company wants you to take, show

1347
01:06:15,737 --> 01:06:17,705
it to doctors, and nobody said,

1348
01:06:17,706 --> 01:06:21,209
"oh, that's actually a crappy,
totally unreliable test."

1349
01:06:21,210 --> 01:06:24,846
But eventually I got a test
called the Western blot test,

1350
01:06:24,847 --> 01:06:28,549
and it lit up like
a Christmas tree.

1351
01:06:28,550 --> 01:06:32,921
It's like if you were superman,
and you met kryptonite.

1352
01:06:32,922 --> 01:06:35,522
That's what lyme
disease is like.

1353
01:06:35,523 --> 01:06:39,460
I got to take my pills.

1354
01:06:39,461 --> 01:06:42,464
When you start treating
someone with lyme disease, that

1355
01:06:42,465 --> 01:06:44,899
person might get worse
before they get better.

1356
01:06:44,900 --> 01:06:46,834
It's kind of like you wake the

1357
01:06:46,835 --> 01:06:48,837
sleeping giant when you use the

1358
01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:54,412
antibiotic, and the infection
kicks back even harder.

1359
01:06:57,512 --> 01:07:05,121
I just took my
medication an hour ago.

1360
01:07:05,221 --> 01:07:08,922
And... I guess I'm
having a reaction

1361
01:07:08,923 --> 01:07:15,430
now to the... Infection
and the medication

1362
01:07:15,431 --> 01:07:19,200
meeting up or something.

1363
01:07:19,201 --> 01:07:21,835
I'm filming this kind of because

1364
01:07:21,836 --> 01:07:28,877
in my movie, in the movie about
me, I talk about having this

1365
01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:35,616
disease and, um, how it makes
it so I can't do things.

1366
01:07:35,617 --> 01:07:40,254
And, obviously, I can't be on
stage when I'm like this, and

1367
01:07:40,255 --> 01:07:42,723
this is me when it's
bad as it gets.

1368
01:07:42,724 --> 01:07:45,859
Do I look normal?

1369
01:07:45,860 --> 01:07:46,760
No.

1370
01:07:47,996 --> 01:07:52,834
'Cause it doesn't
feel normal right now.

1371
01:07:52,835 --> 01:07:57,971
But... I want to
show what it's like,

1372
01:07:57,972 --> 01:08:02,810
because a lot of people
get misdiagnosed.

1373
01:08:02,811 --> 01:08:05,046
Like, I was misdiagnosed
for five years.

1374
01:08:05,047 --> 01:08:07,281
It invades, like, every part of

1375
01:08:07,282 --> 01:08:11,051
your body, and then, when you
try to get rid of it, you have

1376
01:08:11,052 --> 01:08:14,888
these really fucked-up
reactions, and you can't control

1377
01:08:14,889 --> 01:08:20,661
your body or your speech, and
it's real uncomfortable.

1378
01:08:20,662 --> 01:08:28,562
So, it's something that...
Think that's good for now.

1379
01:08:32,307 --> 01:08:33,840
We'll get a seizure later.

1380
01:08:33,841 --> 01:08:36,344
I'm sure I'll get
a seizure later.

1381
01:08:36,345 --> 01:08:39,912
I think we should
do a few more takes.

1382
01:08:40,282 --> 01:08:44,919
I don't think people really
saw her at her sickest.

1383
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:50,528
You know, it's
just her and Adam.

1384
01:08:53,628 --> 01:08:59,067
More stressed out than
I've been in a long time.

1385
01:08:59,068 --> 01:09:02,870
Shit is crazy.

1386
01:09:02,871 --> 01:09:04,671
When you have an illness like

1387
01:09:04,672 --> 01:09:07,375
this, it's hard to explain
it to other people.

1388
01:09:07,376 --> 01:09:09,042
The expectation out there is,

1389
01:09:09,043 --> 01:09:10,877
"okay, so, you had lyme disease.

1390
01:09:10,878 --> 01:09:12,313
You took antibiotics.

1391
01:09:12,314 --> 01:09:13,480
You should be better."

1392
01:09:13,481 --> 01:09:16,783
When you've had it for five
years, and it hasn't been

1393
01:09:16,784 --> 01:09:19,953
treated, that's not gonna
be the way that it works.

1394
01:09:19,954 --> 01:09:22,055
She never talked about her

1395
01:09:22,056 --> 01:09:24,929
health or the pain she
was in or anything.

1396
01:09:27,029 --> 01:09:30,697
I didn't know for a long time.

1397
01:09:30,698 --> 01:09:33,734
People who run around being

1398
01:09:33,735 --> 01:09:37,138
heroes act like they
don't need help.

1399
01:09:37,139 --> 01:09:40,108
That's the nature of being a
hero is you don't need help.

1400
01:09:40,109 --> 01:09:41,108
You're the helper.

1401
01:09:41,109 --> 01:09:44,812
There are moments where she

1402
01:09:44,813 --> 01:09:48,715
knows that she can ask for help.

1403
01:09:48,716 --> 01:09:50,151
But I don't think that that's

1404
01:09:50,152 --> 01:09:54,830
necessarily an organic
thing for her.

1405
01:10:02,930 --> 01:10:04,866
I realized I wanted to write

1406
01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:06,834
a record when I started getting

1407
01:10:06,835 --> 01:10:08,670
sicker and sicker and sicker,

1408
01:10:08,671 --> 01:10:11,371
'cause once, like, I really was

1409
01:10:11,372 --> 01:10:15,742
<i>pretty sure I couldn't do
it, I really wanted it.</i>

1410
01:10:15,743 --> 01:10:17,411
The thing that made me change or

1411
01:10:17,412 --> 01:10:20,415
face it was that my illness
was not only affecting me.

1412
01:10:20,416 --> 01:10:22,582
It was affecting the
people that I love.

1413
01:10:22,583 --> 01:10:25,886
I worked at a domestic-violent
shelter, and I remember women

1414
01:10:25,887 --> 01:10:29,090
all the time saying, "I could
take it, but when he started

1415
01:10:29,091 --> 01:10:31,693
abusing the kids, I
picked them up and left."

1416
01:10:31,694 --> 01:10:33,627
They were, like, totally
protective of their children,

1417
01:10:33,628 --> 01:10:35,196
but they weren't
protective of themselves.

1418
01:10:35,197 --> 01:10:36,930
When I saw it affecting Jo, how

1419
01:10:36,931 --> 01:10:38,666
bad it affected Jo and J.D. And

1420
01:10:38,667 --> 01:10:40,401
Adam, and I was like, "it's not

1421
01:10:40,402 --> 01:10:42,703
helping them that I'm
minimizing this."

1422
01:10:42,704 --> 01:10:46,040
It was just so much easier on
everybody if I just faced what

1423
01:10:46,041 --> 01:10:47,709
was happening, stopped blaming

1424
01:10:47,710 --> 01:10:51,385
myself, and fucking
dealt with it.

1425
01:10:57,485 --> 01:11:01,988
I call my new band the Julie
ruin because it's kind

1426
01:11:01,989 --> 01:11:06,193
of an outgrowth of the
solo project I did in '99.

1427
01:11:06,194 --> 01:11:07,862
It's really just different in

1428
01:11:07,863 --> 01:11:10,465
that I'm not trying to
write anthems or anything.

1429
01:11:10,466 --> 01:11:11,832
I'm just writing songs and

1430
01:11:11,833 --> 01:11:16,013
letting them be what
they want to be.

1431
01:11:29,251 --> 01:11:31,251
♪ Don't go away ♪

1432
01:11:31,252 --> 01:11:35,689
♪ don't go away ♪

1433
01:11:35,690 --> 01:11:39,227
I feel embarrassed when
people come up and tell me that

1434
01:11:39,228 --> 01:11:41,028
I matter to them or something

1435
01:11:41,029 --> 01:11:44,698
like that and sort of like have
all these people put on this

1436
01:11:44,699 --> 01:11:47,801
show and, like, do covers
of songs that I've sung.

1437
01:11:47,802 --> 01:11:49,770
It feels, like, overwhelming and

1438
01:11:49,771 --> 01:11:51,605
haven't really been
able to grasp it.

1439
01:11:51,606 --> 01:11:53,608
Just all I've been through over

1440
01:11:53,609 --> 01:11:55,643
the past few years in getting my

1441
01:11:55,644 --> 01:11:57,644
diagnosis so close to the show.

1442
01:11:57,645 --> 01:12:01,482
It's just when I was really sick,
I would sit around and be,

1443
01:12:01,483 --> 01:12:05,185
like, imagine people being
supportive and loving, 'cause I

1444
01:12:05,186 --> 01:12:06,853
never let that in before.

1445
01:12:06,854 --> 01:12:08,688
And I had to learn how to do

1446
01:12:08,689 --> 01:12:11,526
that because I was so
sick for five years.

1447
01:12:11,527 --> 01:12:14,795
And now it's, like, gonna be
physical, like, I'm actually

1448
01:12:14,796 --> 01:12:16,596
gonna go to this place, and all

1449
01:12:16,597 --> 01:12:18,232
these people are just gonna be

1450
01:12:18,233 --> 01:12:20,102
totally loving and
supporting me.

1451
01:12:20,202 --> 01:12:21,102
And it's...

1452
01:12:21,770 --> 01:12:22,969
It's overwhelming.

1453
01:12:22,970 --> 01:12:24,505
With the illness stuff, it means

1454
01:12:24,506 --> 01:12:26,907
this extra thing that only
my friends know about.

1455
01:12:26,908 --> 01:12:29,510
So, it's weird to be going to

1456
01:12:29,511 --> 01:12:32,279
this public event, where, like,

1457
01:12:32,280 --> 01:12:36,588
people don't really know
what I've been through.

1458
01:12:39,688 --> 01:12:42,594
Yeah.

1459
01:12:45,694 --> 01:12:48,563
Is everything turned off that
nothing's gonna blow up?

1460
01:12:48,564 --> 01:12:56,464
♪ Is it something inessential
when I cannot hear you talk? ♪

1461
01:12:57,238 --> 01:13:03,044
♪ Is it something sentimental? ♪

1462
01:13:03,045 --> 01:13:10,945
Over here, over here.

1463
01:13:12,020 --> 01:13:12,987
♪ Double dare ya ♪

1464
01:13:12,988 --> 01:13:14,354
♪ double dare ya ♪

1465
01:13:14,355 --> 01:13:17,558
♪ double, triple fucking
dare ya, girlfriend ♪

1466
01:13:17,559 --> 01:13:18,593
♪ double dare ya ♪

1467
01:13:18,594 --> 01:13:20,027
♪ double dare ya ♪

1468
01:13:20,028 --> 01:13:23,789
♪ double dare ya, girl ♪

1469
01:13:46,889 --> 01:13:51,291
I just want to read this
very special text by Kathleen.

1470
01:13:51,292 --> 01:13:54,362
This is called "riot
grrrl manifesto."

1471
01:13:54,363 --> 01:13:58,899
"Because us girls crave records
and books and fanzines that

1472
01:13:58,900 --> 01:14:03,136
speak to us, that we feel
included in and can understand

1473
01:14:03,137 --> 01:14:07,340
in our own ways, because I
believe with my whole heart,

1474
01:14:07,341 --> 01:14:11,645
mind, body that grrrls
constitute a revolutionary soul

1475
01:14:11,646 --> 01:14:17,417
force that can and will
change the world for real."

1476
01:14:17,418 --> 01:14:21,956
Thank you, Kathleen Hanna!

1477
01:14:21,957 --> 01:14:29,857
All right, kids,
are you ready?!

1478
01:14:30,966 --> 01:14:38,866
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Julie ruin!

1479
01:14:43,912 --> 01:14:45,313
Hey, everybody.

1480
01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:47,348
Thank you so much for coming.

1481
01:14:47,349 --> 01:14:50,184
This is a really
special night for me.

1482
01:14:50,185 --> 01:14:52,853
So, we're the Julie ruin, and
we're writing a new album.

1483
01:14:52,854 --> 01:14:53,853
Are you guys ready?

1484
01:14:53,854 --> 01:14:54,754
Yeah.

1485
01:15:04,265 --> 01:15:06,067
What is the story of my life?

1486
01:15:06,068 --> 01:15:09,135
I have no fucking idea.

1487
01:15:09,136 --> 01:15:13,808
I just think there's this
certain assumption that when a

1488
01:15:13,809 --> 01:15:17,044
man tells the truth,
it's the truth.

1489
01:15:17,045 --> 01:15:19,246
And when as a woman I go to tell

1490
01:15:19,247 --> 01:15:21,482
the truth, I feel like I have to

1491
01:15:21,483 --> 01:15:24,184
negotiate the way
I'll be perceived.

1492
01:15:24,185 --> 01:15:26,386
Like, I feel like there's always

1493
01:15:26,387 --> 01:15:28,488
the suspicion around a women's

1494
01:15:28,489 --> 01:15:35,429
truth, the idea that
you're exaggerating.

1495
01:15:35,430 --> 01:15:37,230
I don't just sit there and be

1496
01:15:37,231 --> 01:15:39,466
like, "this, this,
this, this, this."

1497
01:15:39,467 --> 01:15:43,237
There's this whole fear that
I'm gonna have finally fucking

1498
01:15:43,238 --> 01:15:46,907
stepped to the plate and told
the truth, and someone's gonna

1499
01:15:46,908 --> 01:15:48,776
say, "eh, I don't think so."

1500
01:15:48,777 --> 01:15:52,151
♪ Ar-ar-ar-ar-armageddon ♪

1501
01:15:56,251 --> 01:15:59,019
If I wouldn't have admitted
to myself that, like, the

1502
01:15:59,020 --> 01:16:02,122
sexual-abuse stuff that happened
in my life, it wasn't just,

1503
01:16:02,123 --> 01:16:05,225
like, one thing that happened
when I was little and also how

1504
01:16:05,226 --> 01:16:07,361
my dad treated me and
blah, blah, blah.

1505
01:16:07,362 --> 01:16:09,496
It was like all of these
different things.

1506
01:16:09,497 --> 01:16:12,733
Like, I would never want to tell
everybody the whole, entire

1507
01:16:12,734 --> 01:16:14,402
story, because it sounded crazy.

1508
01:16:14,403 --> 01:16:16,103
It sounded just like too big of

1509
01:16:16,104 --> 01:16:18,738
a can of worms, like,
who would believe me?

1510
01:16:18,739 --> 01:16:25,912
And then I was like, "other
women would believe me."

1511
01:16:25,913 --> 01:16:28,782
I don't give a shit
what people think.

1512
01:16:28,783 --> 01:16:29,983
I know what's real.

1513
01:16:29,984 --> 01:16:31,885
I don't care if people don't

1514
01:16:31,886 --> 01:16:35,255
think feminism is important,
because I know it is.

1515
01:16:35,256 --> 01:16:37,390
And I don't care if people don't

1516
01:16:37,391 --> 01:16:41,261
think late-stage lyme disease
exists because I have it, and

1517
01:16:41,262 --> 01:16:43,163
other people have it, and we

1518
01:16:43,164 --> 01:16:46,000
help each other, and
we know it exists.

1519
01:16:46,001 --> 01:16:49,236
And other people can think
whatever they want.

1520
01:16:49,237 --> 01:16:51,237
My problem is when people get

1521
01:16:51,238 --> 01:16:53,407
in the way of feminism or people

1522
01:16:53,408 --> 01:16:55,776
get in the way of people who are

1523
01:16:55,777 --> 01:16:59,313
sick getting better, because
they don't understand it.

1524
01:16:59,314 --> 01:17:02,582
And if they don't want to
believe in it, or they don't

1525
01:17:02,583 --> 01:17:06,086
want to care about it, that's
totally fine, but they should

1526
01:17:06,087 --> 01:17:08,788
have to stay out of my way.

1527
01:17:08,789 --> 01:17:10,825
♪ I hear you talk, talk ♪

1528
01:17:10,826 --> 01:17:14,594
♪ but I can tell you're more
histrionic than historical ♪

1529
01:17:14,595 --> 01:17:17,898
♪ you're just a fake
well-read, super-mean girl ♪

1530
01:17:17,899 --> 01:17:20,100
♪ I don't want anywhere
near my world ♪

1531
01:17:20,101 --> 01:17:23,237
♪ and if anti-you means anti-us

1532
01:17:23,238 --> 01:17:27,108
I guess we just bit the
dust 'cause in reverse

1533
01:17:27,109 --> 01:17:29,009
it's still a fucking pageant ♪

1534
01:17:29,010 --> 01:17:31,478
♪ oh, so cursed,
not real magic ♪

1535
01:17:31,479 --> 01:17:34,348
♪ ar-ar-ar-ar-armageddon ♪

1536
01:17:34,349 --> 01:17:36,817
♪ ar-ar-ar-ar-armageddon ♪

1537
01:17:36,818 --> 01:17:40,254
♪ ar-ar-ar-ar-armageddon ♪

1538
01:17:40,255 --> 01:17:43,056
♪ ar-ar-ar-ar-armageddon ♪

1539
01:17:43,057 --> 01:17:45,225
♪ ar-ar-armageddon ♪

1540
01:17:45,226 --> 01:17:48,228
♪ ar-ar-armageddon ♪

1541
01:17:48,229 --> 01:17:50,898
♪ ar-ar-armageddon ♪

1542
01:17:50,899 --> 01:17:55,517
♪ ar-ar-armageddon ♪♪

1543
01:18:08,617 --> 01:18:13,264
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do ♪

1544
01:20:03,364 --> 01:20:06,032
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do-do ♪

1545
01:20:06,033 --> 01:20:09,036
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do-do ♪

1546
01:20:09,037 --> 01:20:13,608
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do ♪

1547
01:20:14,708 --> 01:20:21,021
♪ this is all in Russian,
boy, no need to steal ♪

1548
01:20:26,121 --> 01:20:29,682
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do ♪

1549
01:20:53,782 --> 01:20:58,618
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do ♪

1550
01:20:58,619 --> 01:21:04,224
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do ♪

1551
01:21:04,225 --> 01:21:09,595
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do ♪

1552
01:21:09,596 --> 01:21:12,633
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do-do ♪

1553
01:21:12,634 --> 01:21:15,501
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do-do ♪

1554
01:21:15,502 --> 01:21:17,900
♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do ♪